try to talk her way out of it I try to avoid trouble in the first place Close the door at least I squeeze into the stall with her and slide the lock Joy you've gotta hear this She tugs my arm to help me up but let's face it I'm twice as big as she is so I do the heavy lifting and haul myself up next to her Bertie's door is closed Good reason to stop listening Everyone in school knows that Bertie's closed door means something private is happening on the other side I'm listening Char pauses for dramatic effect because of who's in there Who I ask Char uses her drawn-out stage whisper Eeeee-an Eeeee-an My Ian Suddenly the queasy feeling turns rock hard What could my little brother have to say that's private I press my ear to the wall What are they saying I'd be able to hear if you'd stop talking The wall is cool and the voices on the other side are muffled I strain to make out words If he was in trouble or hurt the door wouldn't be closed There's one thing private enough to talk to a 2
counselor about behind a closed door and he better not be talking about that That's family business Through the wall I hear Bertie's clear voice How are things at home I don't hear Ian's answer but more of Bertie's words come through father splitting time between your mother and I don't need to hear more I can't let Ian answer those questions Or the ones that would follow What if he mentions how some days Mom barely leaves the couch What if my sweet talkative brother spills all our family secrets I jump down from the toilet fling open the stall door and barrel out of there Char's Hey trails me into the hallway I charge straight into Bertie's office swinging the door open so fast it bounces off the doorstop with a boing Big clumsy Joy strikes again Dad always says I don't know my own strength Two shocked faces stare at me and Bertie's fuchsia lips form an O My eyes zero in on Ian's backpack open between them Inside I see bags of carrot sticks fruit cups and packaged bran muffins Ah Joy Bertie says I was just checking in with 3
your brother He seems extra hungry lately The food is from the help yourself table where kids put school lunch items they aren't going to eat He's crammed an awful lot in there Two weeks ago was the first time he brought home food I remember his proud smile as he unzipped his backpack to reveal seven cartons of milk What in the world I said He grinned and bounced on his toes For our cereal In case Mom you know forgets Clever I said but from now on don't take so many at once His face fell Save some for other kids I didn't think about that That's what I'm here for I ruffled his hair We make a good team And the grin bounced back Since then we've both been taking food Never much never when people are looking I guess we haven't been as sneaky as I thought since Bertie noticed I find myself squeezing the horse bathroom pass Gotta relax my grip before I break his other leg Are you both getting enough to eat at home 4
Bertie asks it like an ordinary everyday question Her eyes keep their kindness but her mouth squinches up in a way that makes me wonder what she's not saying I sense a booby trap I think of my backpack hanging on its hook in the classroom Inside are three whole wheat rolls and a chocolate milk I scored as a surprise for Ian Well sometimes Ian starts but I cut him off Of course I'm too loud Too quick I mean yeah it's just that Right now our mom Ian says my eyes Right now Ian is going through a growth spurt I shoot a message into his brain with And he gets hungry on the walk home from school Don't you Um yeah he says and clutches his stomach I'm starving I see says Bertie looking from one of us to the other I slide over to his backpack thrust a bran muffin into his hands and zip it up You've got plenty to eat now The bell rings and we leave her office but I see from the pinch of her fuchsia lips that the booby trap is still wound tight 5
