6 Sandra Laronde Her grandmother contemplated the photograph Misko stood still waiting impatiently for her to respond Too small So cute Kokum finally said softly Misko held her breath to hear A baby bird Bineshiiwens Nothing but a little chickadee I love their song she cooed So that’s where my nickname comes from I wonder how they fly south for the winter with such little wings Misko wondered aloud Kawin those birds don’t fly south m’girl Them people build birdhouses in their backyards Kokum drew the outline of a tiny box with her hands Them birds go right inside and what do they do They build a nest They build round inside I don’t know why the white man wants to put everything in a box Even cut up our land into boxes No those birds don’t leave Not like people When her grandmother spoke again the words seemed to float on the air as she exhaled Anna Gone eight years What’s that Kokum But Kokum didn’t answer and Misko could feel the energy shift in the room Kokum stood up slowly turned and wiped an invisible tear from her cheek Well dear I have to get some rest now Misko’s throat tightened as she watched Kokum amble down the hallway and into her room She didn’t remember her grandmother being sad like this the last time she was here It had been eight years since Misko’s mom disappeared Eight years of longing for her mother Eight years of
She Holds Up the Stars 7 Kokum waiting for good news of her daughter Anna Eight years of people saying to let it go to forget about it and to move on But it’s our loss and it’s still unsolved said Auntie Madeleine
Chapter Two Misko sat up in bed She wondered why so much light was streaming into her room before she remembered where she was She never got this kind of sunlight in her room back in Winnipeg Tiny specks of dust danced in a shaft of sunlight and she could hear birds chirping and singing outside She went into the kitchen and let the water run from the faucet for a minute Once it was warm she splashed a bit on her face to wake up more She sipped some water and wondered whether the boil water alert was a thing here Just in case she boiled the water longer than usual before making tea for Kokum She moved into the living room and ran a wide-toothed comb through her hair dividing it into three sections she 8
She Holds Up the Stars 9 whispered the prayer she learned from Auntie Madeleine who had learned it from Kokum One section of the braid was Spirit the second was Mind and the third was Body Manitou nendamowin wiiyiw She repeated the words over and over until her braid was done She pulled the braid over her left shoulder so it lay on her heart and she could fiddle with its end Auntie Madeleine wasn’t here after all to get cross at her for chew ing on the end of it When the tea was brewed Misko knocked on her grandmother’s door pushed the door open a smidge and peered inside Kokum I’ve made tea she said She paused for a moment and asked Whatcha listening to Kokum was sitting on the side of the bed listening to the lyrics of a familiar song It was something about walking the line for someone you love The song was recognizable yet Misko couldn’t place it Something from her childhood that her mother had listened to As the song ended Kokum tapped twice on the edge of the ceramic mug with her spoon Clink clink Did Shoshana come home last night Shoshana Kokum stood up and walked to the window The rain came down hard last night Big wind too Everything got so charged up The thunder beings rolled in and lit up the sky Flash Flash Flash Animikii that’s what we call that happening Did I ever tell you when your mom was little
