So far it wasn’t that great never mind what spin Mom tried to put on it She loved the little house we’d bought in Kentville Isn’t it cute she said Isn’t it cozy It has so much more character than the one we had in Calgary By character I guess she meant this one was about a thousand years older It had tiny closets and creaky floors What she was forgetting was character or not that house in Calgary was my home And I wanted it back But I didn’t tell her how I felt I showed her I went out to the mall on the last few days of Christmas break I had my hair dyed black with blue tips I bought myself a whole new wardrobe all black I thought my mom would be angry about it when I got back but she didn’t say a thing She just asked me if I had finished unpacking the boxes in my room and what we should have for dinner What Mom did say more than once over the next few weeks were things like Honestly Skye 6
Of all the things to forget to bring from Calgary You forgot to pack your smile And it was such a nice one too She would make faces at me from the tiny kitchen table where she sat drinking tea in the mornings trying to make me laugh She always wore pink scrubs Or tops with daisies or bright yellow happy faces all over them She was trying hard and I loved her for it But I wasn’t ready to forgive her So I just tugged my black knit hat down a little farther put on my boots and left for school School was school I muddled through the end of the first semester and then started the second Math English Science Geography The teachers were okay Since they didn’t seem to expect much of a kid who looked like me I didn’t give them much in return Students had already formed their friend groups and the special status I’d had being the new kid wore off in about three days There was one girl Lainey who tried harder than the rest She didn’t seem to mind when I didn’t answer her 7
questions or when I didn’t get excited about the news she shared I knew I was being a twit but I didn’t have the energy to be nice to her She was probably great but she wasn’t Cara or Lindsay or Melinda Those were my friends back home Or used to be We had texted a lot at first All during my big trip they’d asked to see the sights going east I’d just sent them photos of the highway and telephone poles and gas stations I didn’t hear much from Cara and Lindsay anymore I figured they were getting tired of the black mood Or their lives had just closed over the hole I’d left Mel hung in the longest The last time she called I told her living in Kentville was the worst She laughed and said It can’t be that bad How do you know You’re not here Her voice went soft Maybe if you just tried Skye 8
Don’t you think I am trying I’d said it louder than I meant to Mel didn’t say anything right away and I got mad and ended the call I hadn’t heard from her since Nobody seemed to care about anything I felt Or did Or didn’t do Well then I thought why should I I decided I would cut all ties I would make no commitments I would spend most of my time in my room I thought this would mean freedom and that it would make me feel better but it didn’t I was lonely That’s when I started coming to the coffee shop 9
