AMBREEN BUTT HUSSAIN not even close I'm still as awkward as ever One thing I have learned though is that revealing my name leads to a year of constant mockery Which is why I'd decided I was not going to let that happen again Sixth grade was going to be different No matter what Let's go class Choppity chop chop Any instruction Ms. Pheasant gave in her soft voice sounded like a song My eyes followed her footsteps as she walked around the room her long ponytail and flowery dress swishing as she moved A feeling of dread filled my entire body All the kids around me started racing to line up What was the rush We all knew our spots My heart pounded as I quietly sneaked to the front of the line I stood there nervously with my head down trying to breathe as little as possible pretending I was invisible Ah I should've known better For some people the front of the line was too prized a place to let go of without a fight That's not your spot Adam Atkins shouted wedging himself ahead of me Go back to your own spot Oh no I knew what wa coming I started to prepare myself scrunching up my face and squinting my eyes as if someone was about to hit me hard Your last name is Butt Go back to your spot Adam leaned in and whispered the last word the one I had been dreading butthead 2
THE UNLOVABLE ALINA BUTT There it was like a slap in the face No. Sixth grade was supposed to be different I had already come too far I was not going to give up without a fight Oh um n no my last name is a actually Anwar Alina Anwar I couldn't even look at him as I said it I'm not a very good liar Some would say that's a good thing but it's a skill that would come in pretty handy in moments like these Anwar is my dad's first name and my middle name I know Weird But I thought it might work It didn't Adam kept going getting louder by the second his greeny gold hawk eyes hooked onto their prey me The other kids started snickering and whispering Now I felt all eyes on me So much for being invisible I was the total opposite more like a fluorescent alien and not the cool kind a kid might want to befriend but a weird ugly one that they'd just stare at from a distance I could feel my ears burning Beads of sweat formed on my nose Ms. Pheasant walked up calmly and whispered to us both Alina will stand in the front Adam started to protest But she's ly Alina will stand in the front she said again more firmly She smiled and then winked at me Adam scowled crossed his arms and stomped in line behind me 3
AMBREEN BUTT HUSSAIN Phew That was a relief I was so lucky to have Ms. Pheasant as my teacher At least that was one good thing about this place Ms. Pheasant smiled down the half decent line that had finally formed Thank you everyone Now before you head into the gym I want to let you know about auditions for the school play This year we're doing Cinderella The sign up sheet is posted outside Everyone broke into excited chatter The line that had taken so long to form started to fall apart As Ms. Pheasant raised her arms to motion kids back into formation she looked down at me and whispered Don't forget to sign up Who me No way No no no She doesn't know me yet Otherwise she would never suggest such a thing She doesn't know I have a hard time talking to just one person let alone a whole hall full of people There was no way I could be in the play Even if I had always loved the story of Cinderella watched the movie a bazillion times and secretly dreamed a fairy godmother would come and transform me into a princess Maybe I could be a rock or a tree But definitely not a role where I had to speak Don't even think about it Alina Squish that dream Squish it It doesn't exist 4
THE UNLOVABLE ALINA BUTT As we walked quietly to the assembly like a row of perfectly lined up ants I thought about our school uniforms On top each of us wore a white collared shirt a bright blue tie and a matching blue cardigan Gray bottoms skirts for the girls and pants for the boys And while all the other girls wore cute frilly ankle length white socks I had to wear super itchy tights Initially my mom had tried to convince me to wear pants instead of a skirt We're Muslims and my mom is the most devout in our family so I knew she didn't like the idea of me going to school with my bare legs being exposed to the world But she'd tried to make it sound like it was for other reasons You will look so decent and smart Alina she said And the pants will keep you warm You say yourself it is always so cold here even in the spring I'll look like a boy Ammi After what had felt like hours of arguing we'd finally compromised and settled on the itchy tights I snapped out of my memory fog when I heard Adam whispering to the boy behind him Imagine Butthead as Cinderella Ewww said the other boy She'd be the butt of all jokes Adam snorted Get it The butt Ha 5
