The Other Half of Happy

The Other Half of Happy — page 7 — I hold one end of the large painting Mom is trying to hang It's a lake surrounded by volcanoes Lake Atitlán Dad lifts his arms as if he might hug the painting though it's too big for that The most lovely spot in the world No importa la distancia siempre habrá un mismo cielo que nos una Looking at me he translates Distance does not matter Always the same sky unites us I'm glad we finally framed this Mom says This room needed a revamp It looks nice and all but I miss the baby photos and the picture of the Golden Gate Bridge that came from Target Only Dad's guitar in its hanger is the same Memito doesn't mind he's rolling a toy truck back and forth I liked it before I say Me too Mom says looking around but I always felt bad that this stuff was in boxes It feels like a new house That was my point Is it time to get out the package Dad asks Mom his eyes twinkling at me Wait right here she says She brings in a white box the packing tape already cut From your Abuela for your first day at your new school Abuela is my dad's mom She sends birthday cards and letters to my parents but none of our Guatemalan relatives send gifts We send them gifts like Crayola crayons that are hard to get there and American brand jeans Starting junior high Dad shakes his head I remember my first day of upper school I wore a new white shirt and

The Other Half of Happy — page 8 — polished shoes At your age I learned to tie my own tie Twelve now You want to stand out and show everyone who you are Actually I'm hoping to not stand out To not embarrass myself Everybody knows that standing out in seventh grade is bad as in disastrously monstrously don't be ridiculously bad especially the first day I swallow hard and fold back the cardboard flaps A thick colorful fabric unfolds in my lap Tropical birds dazzle my eyes It seems like a tunic or a long poncho Yellow Yellow animals run in a wide stripe across a blue background and below them a banner of red diamonds Wow I whisper It's totally beautiful And totally out of the question No one in the history of seventh grade has ever worn something like this to school at least not in Bur Oak Texas It is a huipil m’ija handmade on a backstrap loom See the birds Quetzals They represent freedom since they die in captivity You'll see one on the Guatemalan flag Dad I I look to Mom for help but she just smiles I can't wear this His face sags I mean it's great but You don't want to look especial Dad's voice is soft like a velvet balloon and rises at the end Sweetheart I know it's not what the other kids wear Finally Mom takes my side But Or not It could be a conversation piece A what

The Other Half of Happy — page 9 — Something to get kids talking asking you questions getting getting to know you Mom I mean it Why not I can think of six thousand reasons why not and thirty of them are going to be sitting with me in each class Mom is usually more with it than this The bright colors must have blendered her brain Try it on says Dad You will see You will like it I do like it I run my hand over the cloth feeling its smooth close knit threads I hate to disappoint them but I have to I just can't wear it to school Dad steps back Think about it Mom puts her hand on my shoulder then turns to pick up Memito who is raising his arms For a second a millisecond I picture walking off the school bus in this outfit People point and snicker until I'm dizzy just imagining it I've already planned what to wear on the first day and it involves denim and machine made knit Maybe later you'll try on the huipil Mom says You could wear it next week when we visit your cousins They'll be moved in by then I close my eyes Right The Carrillos All born in Guatemala Mom puts her free arm around me If you wear the huipil to school people will see how unique you are She squeezes me in a half hug

The Other Half of Happy — page 10 — I'd be unique all right As soon as possible I tuck the huipil under my arm and slink down the hall to my room the only unchanged piece of real estate in this house I fall onto my bed and look up at my manatee poster on the ceiling She helps me gather my thoughts The round body looks comfy and huggable her eyes patient I breathe in slowly hold and exhale Okay Forget the cousins for now Forget what Mom and Dad want you to wear Just get ready for school I make a plan 1 load my backpack 2 pack my lunch tomorrow night and 3 bury this huipil in a bottom drawer I tackle number three first

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