Chapter 2 Dr James is examining the audiogram as I plunk onto the chair next to Mom I pull out my note book and try to write the five new words I saw on Yvonne’s list when I stole a glance at it as I came out of the Box of Shame Youth Beg Jug Phone Words I didn’t catch Words to memorize Sounds and pat terns to study so I can figure out exactly what I don’t hear in order to pretend that I do Before I can write the last word star Mom leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek Because she’d call this cheating for sure I quickly f lip to a new page and doodle my favorite star constellation Delphinus to help me remember to add the word later Delphinus is a dolphin that according to star lore saved a famous ancient singer when he was robbed by pirates at sea The singer jumped overboard before the pirates could hurt him A dolphin heard 8
the guy’s song and rescued him carrying him safely to land The Greek god Apollo rewarded the dolphin with a constellation It’s one of my all-time favorite star stories Mom taps me How’d it go she asks me but she looks to Dr James for an actual answer I’m worried the last ear infection Rayne a few weeks ago damaged ears more Yvonne busted me on the bone test and made me redo it I bet she told Dr James He gives me a tight smile He probably also knows I guessed words and clicks I was trying maybe too hard Part of me feels bad He’s a nice man and I like him but I’m sure I’ve wasted his time today Those tests probably cost a million dollars so I wasted that too But he’s not the one with a mom who even though she can hear just fine refuses to listen Mom’s like a cat watching a game of ping-pong looking from Dr James to me and back I turn away and hitch my left foot on top of my opposite knee and trace one of the constellations I drew on my sneakers One boy called them dorky in the middle of the hallway at school and a few kids laughed but I’d rather them stare at my feet than my ears so I keep wearing them 9
Concern fills Mom’s voice What’s on Dr James clears his throat Nothing’s wrong What’s wrong Mrs Campbell I lift my head wondering if he’s going to cover for me because for sure those tests get harder and harder each time But maybe nothing has changed since last time When all this testing started two years ago I hardly had any loss at all But Mom insisted she could tell something was seriously off She kept bringing me back And unfortunately she wasn’t exactly wrong Every few months my hearing was taking a dive I started praying every single day for a miracle that would fix me I think it worked because things weren’t that bad till last November Now I just pray it’ll stop getting worse I hold my breath and wait for Dr James’s answer One test was inconclusive He smiles at me and I feel bad again about moving the headset Should do it again Mom asks I wish I had a dolphin to rescue me from her Dr James says Since you need official paper work we did He points to the dip in the cookie bite line on the audiogram But overall Rayne’s last testing was four months ago and while there has been 10
a slight change since then she’s still doing okay Dr James is always positive He has a way of making me feel like my hearing loss isn’t a big deal at all like I’m totally okay and like I can live with it perfectly fine But those thoughts don’t follow me out the door when I leave his office They don’t follow me when I’m pretending to be the same old me in a world that’s suddenly changed as fast as the afternoon thunderstorms come and go here in South Florida Maybe I don’t need a deserted island Maybe I can just move into Dr James’s office Minus the Box of Shame I feel okay here Like my ears aren’t a big deal and everyone else who comes in is just like me anyway Okay Mom pulls out her phone to take notes I tell It’s only week into school year even her teachers struggles class This why I told we’re leaning toward cochlear implants Is change in all the tests just one I wouldn’t say the change is big enough to war rant you doing anything other than what you cur rently are he says Thank but I need note which test had a change and what are so I can log 11
