Worser

Worser — page 7

Worser — page 8 — ONE Rally I understand that you had quite a difficult summer Will Worser remained still and silent refusing to even blink Principal Ludlum knew nothing about him no matter what the official records showed For one thing Mr Ludlum kept referring to him as Will No one called him that To his mother and his teachers he was William He was called Worser by everyone else in school including once accidentally he hoped the school secretary Mr Ludlum appeared to be what Worser’s mother called a standoffishial one of those administrators who hides in an office all day avoiding people It was Mr Vaccario the assistant principal who was the perceived figure of authority He was the one who stalked the hallways of Oak Valley Middle School threatening students and had a face that was rough and red like a meatball Throughout sixth grade Worser had rarely seen Mr Ludlum Ludlum And he’d certainly never been in his office not until ten minutes ago at the end of his first week of seventh grade And Worser was not impressed 1

Worser — page 9 — Mr Ludlum’s stooped posture rumpled suit and unchanging unchanging expression of surprise bordering-on panic as if he couldn’t remember how he came to be in his current location didn’t exactly inspire fear To believe that the title of principal gave him instant authority would be like believing a uniform gave a Boy Scout the ability to lead troops into battle You probably think that what you did wasn’t that bad You probably think that because the school year has only just begun we are going easy on offenders You probably think that because you are an honor student the principal lifted the file that lay open on the table in front of him making its sides flap like wings we won’t take any serious action Worser waited for the eventual thesis statement For all their talk about productivity educators were some of the worst time wasters on the planet Being the son of a university university professor two when his father was alive Worser knew that better than most But the principal continued I’m afraid that’s not how the system works There it was The main point although not clearly stated He’d padded it with the phrase I’m afraid Then again Mr Ludlum looked a little afraid so perhaps he accidentally let slip his true feelings He also used the word system instead of school This made Worser imagine himself and all the other students passing through a giant digestive tract toward the inevitable end The metaphor he decided was apt Will Principal Ludlum’s voice lowered and took on weight the same weight it had when he announced disaster drills over the intercom Why will you not answer me Worser lifted his left eyebrow Because you haven’t asked me any questions You have used only declarative sentences 2

Worser — page 10 — The principal’s expression grew slightly more startled He made a few random vowel sounds before clearing his throat Do you know why you were sent in here this afternoon Yes Worser’s brief reply seemed to disappoint the principal Perhaps you would like to explain your misbehavior in your own words he said with a sigh his back sliding a couple of inches down his office chair I was in the library reading and apparently that went against school policy Principal Ludlum took off his glasses and rubbed the space between his brows It was not that you were reading reading That was not the problem was it The problem was that you were supposed to be somewhere else Do you remember where we asked all students to be at three o’clock per today’s special schedule Worser disliked this practice of asking obvious questions It served no real purpose and succeeded only in making people people feel like kindergartners Yes he replied Students were asked to report to the gymnasium at three o’clock I felt that reading would be a better use of my time than watching cheerleaders spell Oak Valley with their bodies I already know how to spell both oak and valley as well as many other words There is no reason to be snide young man I’m merely frustrated I would think that in this age of video games and cell phones that school administrators would reward a student who wanted to read or write not send him to the office Again the principal let out a series of incomprehensible sounds before deflating with a long sigh You appear to 3

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