Anyway I am happy to work at the funeral home and make some money for my paper and other stuff Plus I am actually interested in learning more about how our family business works The deal was if I didn’t go to camp I had to do all my chores put in my hours at the funeral home and never ever complain about being bored Oh and I had to promise to be on time for everything Mom is a real stickler for punctuality as she likes to remind us all the time I said a quick goodbye to Suzanna and raced out of the store So fast in fact that I nearly took out a couple of people coming in Whoa sorry I blurted But then I saw who it was Miri and Sasha Great I had been hoping I wouldn’t have to see them until September I muttered an apology I really wasn’t feeling and tried to get past them Nope They blocked the doorway and just looked at me I pasted a smile on my face Oh hey How’s your summer going Can you believe we’re going into eighth grade Unbelievable right I am having a good summer I mean even though I’m not going to camp this year I’m helping out at the well at home I guess What are you two doing Having fun Finally I had to stop to take a breath Miri and Sasha just kept staring 7 SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS
Sorry I muttered even as I felt my face grow hot I clamped my lips shut Miri snorted and rolled her eyes She’s awfully chatty for a corpse isn’t she Sasha Here we go Right Sasha said I mean I thought corpses were quiet I didn’t realize they talk nonstop Do I even need to say it Miri and Sasha are the worst Sasha wasn’t done either She laughed at her own clever comment and then leaned in close She took a loud sniff of my ponytail And ugh she sure smells like death Disgusting You sure you’re not a zombie Evil After my speech in class about how I was going to be a funeral director when I grew up the two of them had come up with all kinds of mean nicknames that I am now mostly used to Sort of I’d washed my hair that very morning With the shampoo I’d made my mom buy after the last time Sasha said I smelled like rotting corpses The shampoo is strawberry scented A part of my brain drifted away and started wondering if dead people smell like strawberries And if they do how Sasha would know I’d never gotten close enough to the actual dead people at the funeral home to sniff them but the building didn’t smell like strawberries Or any other type of fruit I wanted to tell them both to shut up Also that like I’d told them a million times before my job at the funeral home doesn’t include getting close to dead 8 JOANNE LEVY
people so I couldn’t smell like one But for once I kept my mouth shut It wouldn’t matter They just didn’t care No matter how hard I tried to show them that I was a normal girl whose family just happened to own a funeral home they kept picking on me After my speech I’d made Dad come to career day to talk about what it was like to be a funeral director and how important a job it was After all eventually everyone needs one I’d thought that would make things better But no it got even worse Way worse Now everyone at school thinks my whole family is weird and obsessed with death When you go to a small private school like I do everyone knows everything about you even the kids in different grades I’d asked my parents to transfer me from Beit Sefer to a public school with a ton of kids who don’t know me But they said I should try to stick it out for eighth grade After that if I was still unhappy we could talk about my going to a public high school Until then I was stuck with being known as Chatty Corpse Girl Morticia Evil and whatever other humiliating humiliating names they could come up with What’d you buy Goth Girl Sasha asked as she and Miri shifted to block my way completely She reached for the bag in my hands Black eyeliner I pulled the bag away before she could get it This is a stationery store I said They don’t sell eyeliner And it wasn’t like I even wore makeup Duh 9 SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS
I know that Sasha barked I’m here to pick out my bat mitzvah invitations For my bat mitzvah I guess she was emphasizing the words to make it sound like a very big deal That you won’t be invited to by the way she added This was a lie At our school when someone has their bar or bat mitzvah they have to invite the whole class It’s only like twelve people but is a rule Like I’d even want to go I said I added a Pffft for good measure All right so maybe I did sort of want to go but only to show her and everyone else that I was a good person who didn’t hold grudges I definitely wouldn’t have any fun though Or maybe I would have fun just to show her how much I didn’t care that she and Miri were so mean to me Whatever Sasha said adding a loud cluck of her tongue as she leaned toward me Miri moaned and rolled her eyes back Don’t get too close Sasha she might try to eat your braaaaaaain It was a pretty lousy impression of a brain-eating zombie if you ask me Oh yeah Right Sasha said backing up dramatically I fought back tears as I pushed past the girls Just because I didn’t want any friends didn’t mean I was immune to these girls being so horrible I got on my bike looping my bag over the right handlebar and pedaled toward home The tears poured out of me but I took some comfort in thinking about 10 JOANNE LEVY
