BLAST OFF Mount Rushmore THE TOP-SECRET NNASA HEADQUARTERS Thomas Jefferson
GO TIME EXPLORE Thomas Jefferson Nose Rocket FIX STUFF EAT
Yes blastoff How exciting Usually But not this time This time blastoff was scary and awful Because this blastoff was a deadly emergency And it was all caused by you humans You humans who finally crossed the BIG RED LINE by putting more than 400 PPM parts per million of CO2 carbon dioxide into my beautiful atmosphere Overheating my oceans melting my ice caps killing my plants and animals and even yourselves and well more about that later Oh hello I’m Earth Your planet And boy do I have a story to tell you Lucky for you humans way back in 1988 a couple of your smart scientists working for NNASA Not the National Aeronautics and Space Administration in a secret lab inside Mount Rushmore built four superpowered animal astronauts Because what a perfect place to hide what could be the most important program ever right in plain sight clear as the nose on Thomas Jefferson’s face These animals were designed in case of emergency in case humans ever went over the BIG RED LINE to automatically activate launch into space and investigate a new Goldilocks Planet A place not too hot not too cold just right for humans to live on Like I used to be Before you got here
Well that emergency finally happened Humans pushed the level of CO2 in my atmosphere over 400 PPM over the BIG RED LINE In fact you put more CO2 in my atmosphere than there has ever been in the last two million years So blastoff That’s right Your best hope for a new planet was in the paws and claws of four experimental untested animal astronauts AHHHHHH 400 PPM CO2 Time now NNASA
