Yet Another Dreadful Fairy Book

Yet Another Dreadful Fairy Book — page 7 — in its gigantic serpent-leopard-oxen form is perhaps the fastest creature in the world Glatis came to a stop just outside the bustling goblin market town of Gypsum-upon-Swathmud Beyond and between the black silhouettes of buildings the glow of lanterns and torches held the nighttime darkness at bay instead of the silence of midnight the air was filled with laughter and haggling and cries of Come buy come buy Orchard fruits all ripe together in summer weather sweet to the tongue and sound to the eye Come buy come buy And there waiting for them was a bald pudgy old fairy with cow ears holding a lantern in one hand and a pocket watch in the other Midnight on the nose Poor Richard snapped the pocket watch shut and tucked it into his vest as Shade leaped down next to him Well done Glatis Thank you ever so much You’re welcome Glatis swung her head back and forth nervously Now if I could just well pop out into the country again while you do whatever it is you’re here to do Places like this tend to attract questers and all and 2

Yet Another Dreadful Fairy Book — page 8 — And you don’t want to be chased you sweet gentle thing The cowlug gave Glatis a sympathetic pat Please go If you could come back in about an hour that would be lovely As a relieved Glatis vanished into the night Shade looked to the little cowlug Is everything all right The note you sent with Glatis said there was some thing extremely important that you had to show me Everything is more than all right my dear And what I have to show you is right here Poor Richard pointed at the run-down building behind them Above its entrance hung a sign one end sagging significantly lower than the other on which a black bird wearing an eye patch peered down at them The Crooked Rook Shade frowned This stinking cesspit of an inn Stinking cesspit Oh so you know the place Yeah Shade frowned as she thought of how its bartender had cheated her the first time she came to Gypsum And I know there is nothing important and nothing that isn’t filthy and stinking in it Tonight there is Poor Richard pushed open the 3

Yet Another Dreadful Fairy Book — page 9 — Crooked Rook’s swinging doors and was greeted with the noxious stench of onion stew stale pipe smoke and sweaty feet He turned back to Shade his eyes watering By that I mean there’s something important here It’s still quite pungent and I would not recom mend touching anything with bare flesh if you can avoid it In the history of Elfame it’s unlikely there had ever been a darker filthier smellier inn than the Crooked Rook If there were no doubt the Rook’s owner would have taken measures to make things worse its horren dous grubbiness being both an immense source of pride for him and a way to ensure the right kind of clientele namely the worst of the worst That night the tavern was filled as it usually was with shifty-looking fairies some playing cards at rickety tables by the dim light of guttering candles others whispering in the impenetrable shadows at the edges of the great common room Being two of the shorter fairies in the Crooked Rook Poor Richard and Shade had to climb up onto stools to see over the top of the bar where they found 4

Yet Another Dreadful Fairy Book — page 10 — Snarlful the Rottweiler-headed goblin bartender pouring something thick and sour-smelling into a mug for a skinny kobold in raggedy clothes who looked on the verge of falling asleep Shade scowled at him Gotta problem there bug-girl Snarful asked indifferently Don’t remember me Nope Last time I was in here you cheated me out of two silver The bartender shrugged That don’t narrow things down much Now if we’re done reminiscin you got three choices beat it order somethin or go clean the outhouse although I gotta warn you that the last fairy that went in there ain’t come out yet and that was three weeks ago Actually I believe there’s a fourth choice good bar keep Several fairies nearby snorted at Snarlful being called a good anything Poor Richard leaned forward and whispered We’re here for the secret meeting Snarlful looked to his right and left and then cocked an eyebrow No idea what you’re talkin about 5

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