f Anxiety get real One way for Jane and Zara to get their anxiety back under control might be to think about how small the real risks are and to look at why they became anxious about these things in the first place For some people their fear of some things feels like a spiral it grows and grows as one fear leads to another and another and another Slight worry about how you will perform on one test can spiral into a deep fear about how you will succeed on all tests and even in your future career Learning to see when you are making this spiraling happen can help you to control it and not to react this way in future So is there any sort of fear that isn’t normal Not really All fear is real to the person who feels it and it’s not helpful to tease or shame people who suffer from fears or phobias There are however ways that we can start to see our fears for what they really are an echo of something we once saw or heard that made us afraid at the time Some counselors and therapists specialize in techniques that help you to alter the way you think about these things You can learn methods that can reprogram your thoughts so that your reactions to particular things become less extreme We’ll talk about these techniques in more detail later in the book 8
Test Fail teSt Fail all tests Don’t get into college 9
Anxiety all in your imagination The imagination is a wonderful thing With our imaginations we can explore made-up worlds or make up stories to entertain ourselves and others We can use our imaginations in the form of empathy to understand other people and sympathize with them You might have been praised for having a vivid imagination when you have written a story painted a picture or come up with an original idea When it comes to anxiety however the imagination can be less friendly Our imagination can make us believe that ordinary everyday events are threatening It can make threats appear to us simply out of nowhere Nighttime can be an especially tricky time for anxiety and the imagination Fear of the dark First of all there’s the fear of darkness and before you think that this is a silly childish phase that we grow out of think again Your prehistoric ancestors had to keep their senses alert in the darkness to hear when dangerous creatures were approaching If they woke in the night imagining that a creature like a saber toothed tiger was about to pounce on them they were probably right So if when you were younger you didn’t want to turn the light out in case there was a goblin or a saber-toothed tiger under the bed then this was just your prehistoric senses keeping watch as you rested Don’t be too hard on yourself if you still feel some fear of the dark even as you get older it may mean that you still feel some of your prehistoric ancestors fears If this is a particular problem for you however try to remember that your instincts are tricking you The fear is not real there are no wild animals in your bedroom and a creak outside your door is more likely to be the furnace switching off than something dangerous unless you have a brother or sister in there who is a particularly bad snorer but even then they won’t pounce probably 10
Top Tip To reduce or stop anxiety and insomnia try writing down anything that makes you anxious before you go to bed This can help you step back and keep anxiety in perspective You could also try some relaxation techniques once you get into bed We will look at these in more detail in chapter 5 Insomnia or when you can’t sleep Another problem that happens at night is insomnia and this can be particularly tricky if you suffer from anxiety Nighttime is when we are meant to rest but for someone who is anxious the lack of distractions and things to keep us busy can give our worries extra room to grow When we should be sleeping we are turning problems over and over in our minds until they make us feel anxious This happens for the same reasons as fear of the dark When we are trying to rest our instincts for danger may remain alert For people who worry at night this instinctive fear of danger feeds into normal everyday concerns and makes them seem much much bigger than they are 11
