You’d think the lady who fed my mom would’ve been happy when my brothers sisters and I came along But she wasn’t Since our dad was a roaming Border Collie from two farms over and not a prize-winning Bernese Mountain Dog Mom’s lady sneered at us She called us mutts and mongrels She never even pet us Not that I remember As soon as we were ready which meant as soon as we were munching on puppy food and drinking water and sleeping away from Mom the lady sent us all away Normally she made people pay lots and lots of money for Mom’s fancy puppies but since we were worthless mutts she gave us to whomever would take us For free My first family only kept me for a couple of weeks Today I’m a champ at pooping and peeing in the yard That little corner behind the garage is my favorite spot It’s a fun surprise for 5
the possums who walk back there But when I was a little guy I wasn’t so good at it After a couple of accidents at least that’s what humans call it but I always remember peeing on purpose in the house my first family decided I had to go That’s OK Their carpet was starting to smell funny anyway So off I went This time the family was a lot nicer They admired my good looks Which reminds me have I already told you about my looks My shiny black brown and white coat The way my hair flows when I run The way my white snout shows off the beautiful dirt I’m always rooting around in Let’s just say I’m really handsome Everyone says so Even strangers at the park who don’t even know me And this family even understood my brains Mutt or no mutt I come from quality Border Collie stock and Border Collies are the smartest dogs Don’t believe me Google it 6
That family talked about how good I’d be in obedience classes I’d be some sort of champion at jumping through hoops and weaving around poles they said But they never signed me up for those classes I stayed in the apartment day after day locked in a crate bored out of my mind I needed something to do So I began tearing up the bedding and toys they put in my crate I’d splash the water bowl on the floor around me I’d pee and poop in my crate Just to mix it up a little A dog’s gotta live And I kept growing While I had my dad’s brains I had my mom’s brawn I got big Too big for that crate And too big to live in an apartment At least that’s what the family said when they dropped me off at the shelter where I stayed in a kennel day in and day out The shelter wasn’t home but it wasn’t too bad The people at the shelter were nice They gave me fresh toys to play with and took me on 7
long walks through woods on a hill There were lots of other dogs to bark at I pretended I was herding them all into that big outdoor kennel But it was lonely The nights got long All the dogs would howl and bark hoping the workers and volunteers would come back I’d just curl up and dream about rounding up sheep or helping humans Something to use this big brain for Then one day Tasha showed up
