Katharine the Almost Great: The Biggest Star by Far
If you have stage fright you can’t read your Earth Day essay out loud even if it won second place in a contest You can’t sing the songs you learned for your grandparents even they drove hundreds of miles to see you and brought a present if And if you’re supposed to perform in front of strangers there’s only one thing a person with stage fright can do throw up So that’s what I did Twice My first stage fright freak-out was in kindergarten I was a jack-in-the-box and was supposed to say Welcome to Liberty Corner School But I refused to pop-a-rooni out of the box When the curtain finally closed I ran to the bathroom and barfed Then there was the time in first grade when I was a penguin All I had to do was waddle onto the stage and say Baby penguins are called chicks Easy 6
breezy right Wrong I only waddled three steps before upchucking on Johnny Mazzaratti’s feet In second grade I was the Queen of Hearts I had to search for royal subjects who were performing good deeds in the kingdom During dress rehearsal Crockett had to whisper my lines to me After that I just knew that if I got up on stage it would be kindergarten and first grade all over again So at breakfast the next day I announced I can’t go to school I’m sick Mom felt my forehead You don’t feel warm I have a disease I insisted Stage fright-itis Dad laughed Mom folded her arms Are you afraid to be the Queen of Hearts 7
I shook my head I want to be in the play After all I’m going to be an actor one day Dad scratched his head Well here’s the thing Katharine If you want to be an actor you have to act Mom chuckled I gave her my grumpy face It was not a chuckle moment Then Dad brought up kindergarten You almost acted in the kindergarten play And you almost acted in your penguin play added Mom But you didn’t feel well that day either My parents call me Katharine the Almost Great They say I’m a work-in progress I bet if I could cure my stage fright they’d proclaim me a star and call me Katharine the Great 8
So I proved to myself that I really was a fab-u-lo-so actor by moaning and groaning so much that they let me stay home That night while Crockett became the King of Hearts and saved the play I saved myself from more barf-a rama drama But looking at the Kids Rock in Space poster my stomach did a flip-flop belly drop Crockett snapped his Earth to Katharine Come in fingers I sighed Space can rock without me By the time Mrs Bingsley opened the door the whole class was buzzin about the play Who wants to rock in space Mrs Bingsley asked 9
