After I zip-a-zoomed through breakfast I jumped three times in front of the sink area That’s my signal for Crockett to come upstairs He lives with Aunt Chrissy in our basement A minute later Crockett bounced up the steps I heard your mom has a secret A super-duper secret I said When Mom came home she rubbed her hands together and announced she had big news She said big news in her thundery voice This is what I wanted her to say You know how we’ve talked about going on vacation to Florida to visit the mouse and his friends Well pack your bags because in just a few days you’ll be wearing your purplicious princess dress and dancing with Prince Charming 10
But this is what my mom really said I’m going back to work part-time as the new cook in your cafeteria She whipped a chef’s hat out from behind her back and plopped it on her head Isn’t it great My stomach did a flip-flop belly drop I glanced at Crockett He had a big goof-a-roo grin on his face I tried to smile I tried to look happy Luckily I have a calendar filled with 365 useless facts that come in handy for times like this Did you know that there are approximately 3 million gallons of water in the moat that surrounds Cinderella Castle I wanted to add the castle we will NOT be visiting anytime soon But I didn’t I used my common sense 11
Mom cocked her head to the side Aren’t you excited Katharine She pulled a cookbook off the counter You can help me plan menus Maybe give me ideas for desserts She flipped through the pages We’re going to have so much fun together Fun Was it fun when she spied pudding cups on the back table during our poetry reading and told Mrs Bingsley that chocolate pudding gave me diarrhea Nope Was it fun the time she volunteered in the library and gave me a saliva bath after seeing marker on my cheek Nope Mom continued We’ll have fun seeing each other during your lunch period Won’t we I was doomed My days of trading cookies and pickle sandwiches for 12
Matthew Jacob’s Fluffer-Nutter peanut butter sandwiches were kaput Won’t it be fun when we bump into each other in the hallway Double doomed She’ll discover all my visits to the principal It was NOT a super-duper secret It was a super-duper dud She was getting ready for fun Me I was getting ready for major mama drama 13
