Ancient History NOOOOOOO Malcolm plugged his fingers in his ears If his sister Cocoa screamed one more time it’d shatter his eardrums He just wanted to eat his dinner in peace even though it was liver and onions Bleh Calm down Malcolm’s mom said It’s not a big deal As usual his dad was pretending to read the newspaper He always avoided dinner drama 4
Cocoa’s eyes bloomed wide putting even more smudgy cracks in her carrot orange eye shadow It is a big deal I promised my friends I’d go with them to the movies It’s the opening weekend of Whispers of Love I can’t miss it Let her go Malcolm said Maybe it’ll teach her how to whisper Cocoa glared Shut it dork This isn’t about you It’s about all of us Malcolm’s mom insisted She looked at his dad Right Um-huh he said turning to the sports page As much as Malcolm hated to admit he agreed with Cocoa on this one Instead of spending a Saturday lying around reading Bizarr-O magazine or chasing ghosts he had to spend it helping clean out an old house 5
Don’t forget his mom said this was the house where Grandma Eunice grew up It has a history Malcolm looked at his great-grandma He didn’t know how old she was but she still tried to crank the telephone to call someone The house had a history all right ancient history Grandma Eunice was poking peas in her mashed potatoes to make a smiley face I can’t believe they’re tearing down that old house That’s where I learned to tie my shoes To ride a bike And I kissed Earl Grimsby under that porch Ewwww Cocoa wailed Grandma tossed one of the peas in the air and caught it in her mouth What Earl was a hottie 6
Cocoa gagged causing foamy spit to glisten on her Mango Tango lip gloss Even Malcolm’s dad grimaced behind his newspaper His mom put her foot down Cocoa you can go to the movies after we clean out the house None of you have ever been to Grandma’s childhood home It’s the only time you’ll get to see it before it’s torn down We need to make sure that nothing valuable is left behind Malcolm couldn’t imagine what could be so valuable in an old house that no one’s lived in for over fifty years But it would be kind of cool to see where Grandma Eunice lived when she was a kid Can I bring Dandy Malcolm asked If he had to give up a Saturday he could at least have his best friend along to make it more fun 7
