Pancake Splatter Malcolm was well aware that he had one eye open and one eye closed But it was six o clock in the morning Everyone was half asleep at that hour He was sure the other eye would wake up by seven Actually it happened sooner Ahhhhhhh his sister Cocoa screamed into the kitchen His mom happened to be flipping a pancake at that moment She jerked the spatula causing the pancake to somersault
up and away from the griddle and land on one of Cocoa’s bejeweled sneakers Ahhhhh Cocoa screamed even louder Malcolm’s other eye popped open but now the hearing in one of his ears was shattered Grandma Eunice whose wheelchair was stuck between the kitchen door and the hallway clacked her dentures Hey That was my pancake Who cares about your old pancake Cocoa whined Grandma shoved the wheelchair in chipping a piece of wood off the doorjamb I care she said I’m on one of those whole grain diets and that was a wheat pancake Malcolm grinned Now it’s shoe polish he said pointing to Cocoa’s sneaker
Cocoa kicked her foot The pancake flew across the room and stuck to the wall just above the toaster oven Malcolm was glad that both eyes were open for that trick but he noticed that his father stayed hidden behind his newspaper Dad had mastered the art of staying out of drama What’s the problem Cocoa Mom asked Cocoa stood there in her pink-and-red striped T-shirt and puke-green pants Her shoes looked like someone had glued plastic rhinestones to mildewed gym sneakers Well one of the sneakers looked like that The other now had the added pizzazz of whole wheat pancake batter I’ll tell you the problem she said This She pushed back her frizzy bangs Part of her left eyebrow was missing
Malcolm fell off his chair laughing Oh dear Mom exclaimed Dad glanced over his newspaper then went back to reading Grandma Eunice rolled up for a better look I guess that makes us even she said You have half an eyebrow I have half a pancake What happened Mom asked I was waxing my eyebrows when a bunch of the hot wax spilled across my forehead I tried to wipe it off with a rag but the rag stuck It ripped off part of my brow It’ll grow back Mom said Cocoa stomped her pancake-battered foot That could take weeks I can’t go out looking like this I’m hideous
