A Bed-wetter Auntie Stella was already at the table when I went to eat breakfast I grabbed a bowl off of the counter slid into my seat and mumbled Morning Auntie Stella She held up her coffee mug and grunted Dad smiled You know the rules TJ I nodded No talking to Auntie Stella until she’s had two cups of coffee and has read her horoscope 4
Auntie Stella grunted louder Auntie Stella isn’t my real aunt But she’s been helping my dad take care of me ever since I was born So I know her routine Even though I call her Auntie Stella everyone thinks she’s my grandmother Dad pushed his chair out and grabbed his suitcase I’m off buddy Watch Auntie Stella for me Don’t let her eat too much junk food or stay up past her bedtime And if she tries to sneak out at night or have wild parties give me a call You know how she can be Auntie Stella pretended to be mad Do I need to give you the old dish towel She talks said Dad And she’s not even done with her second cup yet Auntie Stella rubbed her eyes Well I have to see you off It’s not every day you jump on a plane and leave us 5
Dad was going to his annual conference for high school guidance counselors in Atlanta He promised to bring me back a Falcons shirt Dad kissed Auntie Stella’s cheek I’m honored you broke your rule for me He pointed to the newspaper You haven’t even looked at your horoscope yet She picked up the paper and swatted Dad Well then get going so I can read in peace She winked at me Dad patted my head Be good buddy Whatever Auntie Stella says is the law around here Got it Got it I said Good said Auntie Stella Cause there’s a new sheriff in town And I’m as tough as nails 6
Dad wasn’t out the door two seconds before Auntie Stella climbed up on the step stool and opened the cabinet over the fridge Bags of candy cookies and chips came crashing down on her head My secret stash she whispered She pulled out a box of doughnuts from the 7
