The Sleepy Pebble and Other Stories: Calming Tales to Read at Bedtime
AN INTRODUCTION FOR GROWN-UPS Many families have a bedtime routine probably involving a bath and stories Then us adults turn off the light and expect our children to go to sleep The last part of bedtime when we expect children to be quiet and fall asleep can be a time when things go wrong Our children might tell us they don’t want to go to sleep They might ask for more stories or keep chatting about whatever is on their mind It’s easy for us to become exasperated How can our children possibly not be sleepy when they have had such a busy day it’s already well past their bedtime and we are exhausted ourselves One possibility is that our children might be tired but in a state of arousal meaning a physical and mental state of being alert and reactive to stimuli They might have just read the most exciting story about a roller coaster ride and are imagining themselves whizzing round at high speed They might remember having been tickled earlier in the day and are still laughing at the feeling No wonder our children can’t sleep high levels of arousal are incompatible with sleep But with a bit of help they can unwind so that they are in a state that is better suited to falling asleep What might help The Sleepy Pebble and Other Stories is designed to help children relax before bedtime Useful techniques are embedded in calm and peaceful stories Each story contains three elements imagery muscle relaxation and mindfulness Imagery Imagery encourages children to create a place in their minds In order to seem realistic children are encouraged to consider a scene in plenty of detail They might think about the sounds and smells they encounter Research in adults with insomnia has found that those asked to imagine a scene in a great amount 8
of detail fell asleep more quickly than those given no instructions Imagery is also sometimes used in schools to help children relax This technique may be useful because keeping an image in the mind uses up cognitive space which can therefore not be filled with thoughts that may keep children awake Muscle Relaxation Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique whereby different groups of muscles are tensed and then released Doing so can help children to notice how different it feels when they are tense compared to when they are relaxed A review of non-pharmacological treatments for adults with chronic insomnia from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine concluded that progressive muscle relaxation is a method that works This technique has also been used with children We have developed a brief version of this established technique to use in the context of the stories Mindfulness Mindfulness refers to being in the moment without judgement This means noticing three things how our bodies feel the thoughts that are passing through our minds and the environment around us like feeling the temperature of the air or noticing nearby sounds However mindfulness is about more than just paying attention to the present moment how we pay attention is important Mindfulness involves awareness of what is currently being experienced with openness curiosity self-compassion and non judgement Paying attention with the wrong attitude for example by being critical or anxious about what is happening is not helpful Increased levels of mindfulness have been associated with better sleep quality in both adults and children and mindfulness-based therapy is often used as a component of therapies designed to improve sleep in adults such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia It is also sometimes used in school settings to increase well-being Mindfulness could help children to sleep for multiple reasons for example its ability to reduce anxiety and relax the body which could have a knock-on positive effect on sleep 9
WILL THIS BOOK HELP When developing this book over a few years we drew upon scientific literature We also contacted other sleep experts psychologists mindfulness experts parents and children themselves about our ideas and have shared early draft sections of this book widely receiving plenty of feedback We also conducted a small pilot study where we invited 100 families who had at least one child aged between 3 and 11 years of age to take part We asked the families to read a story an earlier draft of The Sleepy Pebble for three consecutive nights At the end of those nights we asked the families to answer a questionnaire providing feedback about many aspects of the story such as its length and whether they thought it should be illustrated Seventy adults participating in the study responded We asked many questions but for one key question Overall what effect do you think the story had on your child children’s sleep parents responded that for 80 of the 104 77 children taking part the story had a very positive or slightly positive effect They also flagged areas that could be improved such as adding illustrations and information for adults reading the story The book has been adapted based on the feedback Positive feedback does not mean that this book will work for all children Every child is unique and what is helpful for one child may not be helpful for another We would recommend adding this to your bedtime routine if you and your children find it useful and encourage you only to use sections of the book that you consider to be appropriate for your children For children with physical or mental health difficulties a healthcare provider should be consulted before using any techniques included in this book Parents also reported that for 21 104 20 the book seemed to have no effect for 3 104 3 the book seemed to have a slightly negative extremely negative effect did not comment Our study had limitations e g there was no control group and we used subjective retrospective reports Recruitment was also conducted via social media meaning that the authors were known to some of the participants Nonetheless the overall results were promising 10
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK You might want to consider the tips at the end of this book to help you create an appropriate environment before you start reading one of our stories We recommend that you choose one each night and read it to your child as the last story before bedtime When it is time to start reading the story ask your child to lie down and be quiet and to shut their eyes if they are happy to do so Try to make your voice calm and soothing and read the stories slowly and quietly Novelty can be arousing so when you present a story to your child for the first time it may not have the desired effect Your child might be excited by the new book and want to interact with it Please do not worry about this When you first read the book encourage your child to look at it and answer any questions that they have explain to them that this is a different type of book to those that you usually read and that over time you would like them to be quiet and peaceful when listening to their sleepy book Hopefully after the novelty has worn off the stories will help your child relax before falling asleep You may find it useful to read the Questions and Answers listed on page 79 for further advice when using this book Once the story is finished keep the lights dim and the bedroom calm and quiet Now is the time to say goodnight and leave the room so that you can let your child go to sleep We wish you a peaceful night Professor Alice Gregory Christy Kirkpatrick 11
