Katharine the Almost Great: The Ding Dong Ditch-a-Roo
chapter 1 An Invisible Man Did you hear that I opened the door and looked up and down the block I don’t see anyone I held out my hand Only rain Drippy droppy rain Crockett was playing with Jack The bell didn’t ring You’re hearing things I’m not hearing things I said and picked Jack up off the fl oor You heard the bell didn’t you Jack planted an icky lick kiss on my cheek It smelled like Toasty Os 5
I wiped off the gunk It gave me gross-a-rama slobber drama I put my fi nger in my ear and wiggle jiggled the inside Dr Cho said I have 20 20 hearing Crockett didn’t believe me Are you sure she said 20 20 hearing Positive I said Positively positive Crockett laughed You can’t have 20 20 hearing It’s 20 20 vision He raised his eyebrows What about the whole Jackula thing Remember How could I forget I thought Mom said Jack was getting a coffi n but it turned out she had said he had been coughing I wrinkled my nose Maybe Crockett was right I did get things mixed up a lot Maybe that’s why my parents call me Katharine the Almost Great Maybe if my hearing gets better they’ll fi nally call me Katharine the Great 6
Mom swooped into the room and plucked Jack out of my arms Bedtime she announced She slid the popcorn bowl across the table It was Friday night which meant it was movie night My favorite night of the week I pulled Penelope Parks Takes a Dare out of a bag Look what Lily lent us Us Crockett groaned We’ve seen it at least ten times How about watching a scary movie I put my hand on my forehead and whipped my neck back I must watch Penelope She smiles She sparkles She shines Mom’s thundery voiced boomed down the steps Didn’t you pick out the movie last week Katharine Be fair And the week before yelled Crockett He pointed upstairs Now she has good hearing 7
I tossed poor Penelope on the couch You know I’m a fair and square kind of girl I sighed Go ahead Pick Crockett fl ipped through the movies How about The Invisible Man I nodded What else could a fair and square kind of girl do Mom came downstairs and snatched a deck of cards out of the desk I’ll be in the basement with Aunt Chrissy My cousin Crockett and Aunt Chrissy have lived in our basement ever since his parents divorced Mom glanced at the movie Good choice Crockett I studied the cover There’s no such thing as an Invisible Man An evil laugh came from Crockett as he pointed to the door Who do you think rang your bell It was not a chuckle moment 8
