Katharine the Almost Great: The Artsy-Fartsy Auction
My cheeks matched my red red fruit Did you know that kiwifruit came from China They were called Chinese gooseberries Farmers in New Zealand changed the name to kiwi after their country’s bird My calendar of 365 useless facts never let me down Vanessa waved to her kiwi Hello Chinese gooseberry Then she pointed her nose in the air Even people in China and New Zealand know about Roy G Biv This is what I wanted to say Mind your own business Miss Priss-A-Poo Your kiwi looks like a watermelon But Mrs Dee was at the next table So this is what I really said Oh Mrs Dee studied Vanessa’s painting She held it in the air to show the class 7
Look at Vanessa’s pears What lovely shades of green She pointed to the kiwi I love your watermelon Now it was my turn to laugh Vanessa gave me her grumpy eyes Mrs Dee cleared her throat I have a special announcement We’re having an art auction Crockett’s eyes lit up We had an auction in Junior Rangers last year I bid the most on a compass so I won it Mrs Dee wiped a blob of paint off of her nose Poor Mrs Dee She always looked like a rainbow threw up all over her clothes We will be having a silent auction she said You’ll be given numbers secret numbers Only you your parents and Mrs Ammer will know what your number is If you see a piece of artwork you want write your number on the card Not your name Then write down what you’re willing to pay for it 8
She pointed to Vanessa’s painting Let’s say Matthew wanted to buy this for one dollar He’d write his number and 1 00 on the card Someone may come along and write 2 00 on the next line with his number If anyone else wanted it the bid would need to be more than two dollars At the end of the week the highest bidder wins Here’s a sample from a fi rst grader She held up a collage with pieces of tissue paper mashed together it pretty Isn’t I wasn’t impressed Not one itty-bitty bit And I wasn’t the only one Who’d pay for that asked Miss Priss-A-Poo Even Ka She smooshed her lips together Then 9
she fi nished by saying Even I could make it Mrs Dee read the name on the back Someone who wants to own a Dylan Thomas original will pay for it Dylan was my reading buddy I shouted Maybe I’ll bid on it I hope you do Katharine said Mrs Dee All money will be donated to charity She wiped her painty hands on her painty pants This month fi ve students from each class will donate something to the auction Vanessa sat up extra tall I’ll donate my painting Then she frowned I’ll have to fi x my kiwi fi rst Mrs Dee patted Vanessa on the shoulder I’ve already picked fi ve names out of a hat As she rattled off the names I crossed my fi ngers Diego Drew 10
