Dr. Critchlore’s School for Minions Book 3: Polar Distress
The ticking wall clock echoed in the silent room a constant constant reminder of how slowly time can pass I had fifteen fifteen minutes until the period was over Fifteen minutes going by in agonizingly slow tick tick ticks Professor Murphy slashed and swished his red pen across the page with the relish of a fencer He was killing killing my essay with a thousand forceful scratches I looked at the apple on my desk My stomach growled The pen scratched The clock ticked I sliced off a piece of apple from the side that hadn’t been punctured I gave a sliver to the mouse who sniffed it once and then gobbled it up I ate the rest of the piece At the sound of my chewing Professor Murphy looked up His scowl was so severe you’d have thought I’d just thrown the apple at the OUTSTANDING EDUCATOR plaque hanging on the wall behind him He picked up my test marked it with a giant red F you could probably see from the top of Mount Curiosity and then came over and slammed it down onto my desk But I was done I said I went through the protocol I marked everything I found on the test I pointed to the paper Your analysis indicated poison but you just took a bite of the apple It’s not real poison and I missed lunch
I’m really hungry Discipline is vitally important for a henchman he said You will not embarrass me by graduating from this program getting my seal of approval and failing in the first task your EO assigns you Do you know how that would make me look Clearly Professor Murphy hated me He’d been trying to kick me out of the training program from the moment I entered his classroom But Dr Critchlore had placed me in the class He’d reinstated me after Professor Murphy kicked me out and then had reinstated me again after I’d gotten three behavioral strikes Professor Murphy didn’t think I was junior henchman material and he was super proud of all the students who graduated with his precious seal of approval When he looked back down I tried to finish my apple slice as quietly as I could but he heard me You think you can do whatever you want and Dr Critchlore will save you every time he said Who do you think you are That was my problem I didn’t know who I was
CHAPTER 2 Exploding cigars falling objects poison and old age LEADING CAUSES OF DEATH AMONG EVIL OVERLORDS For most of my life I’d thought I was a werewolf My earliest memories are of snuggling with my wolf family running and playing with them in the forest and howling howling together at night I remember eating out of a bowl on the floor But then so did my friend Boris and he’s mostly human Recently I thought I might be a vaskor The vaskor are terrifying creatures with horns and sharp claws but they use glamour to appear human My vaskor friend Sara had called me family
