I’m a total bookworm so getting banned from the library would be the worst We’re trying to raise money so we can buy a bat detector for our Science Squad project Laura explained while I wrung out my wings Mrs Kent sighed It’s a noble cause but you can’t just barge in and disturb our patrons like this Please rethink your strategy As if to make up for shutting us down she added You’re always welcome here to use the computers and do research for your project Just remember to consider the other patrons please What could we do besides trudge home It’s not like we weren’t already soaking wet We had nothing but rainwater and one lousy quarter in our fundraising bucket Clearly SCIENCE SQUAD
we’d need some other way to get money for our new bat detection equipment When I got home Mom saw I was dripping wet and immediately wrapped a giant towel around me You’ll figure out a way to raise that money Brubie Trust me if anyone else on Earth called me Brubie I’d clock them But it gives me the warm fuzzies when Mom says it And then she made me blackberry tea and poured it over a huge glass of ice It was delicious I’m reporting all this because her being so nice to me made me do something stupid I asked the Forbidden Question So Mom when are you and Ginger getting married Nocturnal Symphony
I’ve read the expression her face fell in a few books but I had never seen it happen in real life It was like gravity snuck up and pulled the smile out of Mom’s cheeks How many times have I explained this she asked But No you listen Brubeck Mom has unusually long index fingers like magic wands so when she holds one up you shush Despite how common divorces are in this country I think of marriage as forever You know what else is forever I’d heard this speech a bunch of times before so I knew the answer Your being my mom is forever That’s right I’m a mom first always before anything else in life Can’t you be my mom and Ginger’s wife at the same time She looked at me hard Then a little bit of her smile came back Maybe when I’m convinced When I’m absolutely sure that Ginger is as committed to being in your life as she is in mine In other words no progress has been made on the marriage front And I should learn to keep my trap shut 10 SCIENCE SQUAD
The Bat-Detecting Project Mr Fong is such a goofball You’d think a science nerd who’s old like Mom would be all serious But when we met in the Dolores Norton Middle School science room today to review the details of the Science Squad bat project he was wearing plastic fangs On his desk sat a big mosquito made of twisted wire Did Mr Fong make that Does he not have a life As soon as we’d all taken our seats he flapped his arms and pretended to fly around his desk Then he scooped up the mosquito turned it belly-up and mimed biting its neck Like a vampire that ran out of human corpses It was kind of funny but we all rolled our eyes and pretended it wasn’t When he was done with his blood-sucking routine Mr Fong pulled the fangs out of his mouth You could hear him slurping back strings of saliva Ewww That Oscar-level performance he said was to honor all of you who love science enough to set foot in the middle school during 11
