ordered He didn’t think it would come so fast But Mail Carrier Nancy held out a flat envelope Malcolm frowned There couldn’t be a can of freezing spray in there As Mail Carrier Nancy pulled her cart down the sidewalk Malcolm tore open the envelope The card inside made him groan Dear Malcolm and Dandy I heard about what you boys did Please come to my house as soon as you get this note I have a chore for you Sincerely Ms Porter Is that Dandy wiped his nose again It is It was almost too terrible to think about Pop Quiz Porter the oldest and 8
meanest substitute teacher in the world wanted them to come to her house She says she knows what we did Dandy said What did we do I don’t know but it must have been terrible Just then something dark and scary snuck up behind them A long arm with black fingernails snatched the note out of Malcolm’s hand It belonged to his sister Cocoa She wore a black skirt tattered black leggings and high-top black sneakers His parents said she was going through a phase With all the gray smudged around her eyes she looked more like she was going through a horror movie You two are in trouble she sang out Wait until Mom sees this 9
Give it back Malcolm shouted Cocoa just laughed and ran for the house With her long legs Malcolm couldn’t catch up He and Dandy panted like dogs as Cocoa handed over the card to Mom Look what came in the mail Mom looked at the card Malcolm held his breath and waited for the yelling to start Instead Mom smiled This is wonderful she said You two must have done something very nice for a teacher to invite you both to her house Cocoa crossed her arms These two Mom just gave her the stink eye before turning to Malcolm and Dandy You boys head over to Ms Porter’s house I’ll call and let her know you’re coming With no choice Malcolm and Dandy headed for their bikes and their doom 10
Chapter 2 Meet the Family Malcolm Malcolm and Dandy stood on the walk in front of Pop Quiz Porter’s house and stared The house was small and brown with fancy white trim It looked like a gingerbread house from a fairy tale I feel like Hansel Malcolm said Only I didn’t leave any bread crumbs Does that make me Gretel Dandy asked Because I don’t want to be Gretel Malcolm huffed at his friend Nobody has to be Gretel But if Pop Quiz Porter 11
