Say what I say I’m so confused What sorcery is this Friday has always come after Thursday as long as I’ve been alive Mom replies UGH I groan Friday Not as great as Saturday but it’s better than Sunday At least you don’t have to go to school the next day Okay okay let’s get this over with I say I follow my mom into the kitchen That’s where Dad is He is whirling around like a tornado making breakfast and packing our lunches before work He’s like a superhero Actually he is a hero in real life My father is an undercover detective for the police department Sometimes he gets to dress up and pretend to be someone else Then he fools criminals by catching them in the act Most of the
time he investigates clues to solve mysteries Isn’t that cool Breakfast is getting cold Billy he says He scrapes scrambled eggs onto my plate Good morning sweetie Mom says to Dad I love it when you make breakfast She kisses him On the lips EWW I groan covering my eyes I’m gonna lose my appetite And that never happens Mom also works at the police department That’s how she and Dad met She’s a criminal psychologist She studies why criminals do what they do And she tries to help them change their ways to be better citizens Yeah my parents are pretty awesome When they’re not kissing that is UGH I have a very big meeting today Dad says to Mom while she eats her breakfast He chugs the rest of his coffee and adds Your lunchbox is on
the counter Billy Don’t forget it Like I’d ever forget lunch It’s the second most important meal of the day Suddenly a high-pitched shriek fills the air This one is even louder than my alarm clock WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Ah Mom says calmly sipping her coffee Someone else wants her breakfast too That shrieking siren would be my baby sister Ruby Mom works part-time so she can take care of Ruby during the day Then Dad watches her at night when Mom is with patients I’m coming sweetheart Mom says in her sweet singsong voice My sister just screams louder If you ask me babies don’t have a lot of patience They’re always SO demanding I cover my ears to block out the screaming But then I realize I can’t eat my eggs without my
hands So I lean forward and start scooping up the eggs with my mouth Quit that Billy Dad says You’re not a dog Woof I bark at him He rubs my head and holds out his fist You’ve got spunk kid I’ll give you that I fist bump him back and he kisses my head DAAAD I groan What I love you guys You’ll know what it’s like someday he says Mom comes back with my little sister She’s
