birthday parties You don’t even want to know how I lost some of my petals It involved rowdy six-year-olds with very poor scissor etiquette Eve threw her petal headpiece onto my rug and walked toward my bed I blocked her path Please don’t sit on my new comforter I won’t stain it Kaitlyn Eve said Last week you came home with chocolate all over your penguin costume The week before you had clumps of dirt in your duck feathers I just don’t want anything tarnishing my new comforter I said No offense Offense taken Eve said But fortunately she changed course without saying another word and sat on my old wooden desk chair I pointed at a bright pink splotch on her bright green tights What is that on the knee of your tights Bubble gum Cotton candy
Vomit medicine Eve sighed I’m too tired to care I hate my job I didn’t blame her Her job was pretty terrible She worked as a face-painter at children’s parties She was paid minimum wage and had to wear awful costumes There was one good thing about the party today besides earning money Eve said The guy who made balloon animals there was sooo cute We snuck off for a few minutes to eat pizza in peace and exchange phone numbers I wrinkled my nose You snuck off during the middle of the party To flirt with a guy and eat your client’s pizza Sheesh Kaitlyn You make it sound like we ran off with the birthday girl’s presents Eve said It just seems unprofessional Like Mom
says Si vale la pena hacerlo vale la pena hacerlo bien That was Spanish for If something’s worth doing it’s worth doing well Oh lighten up Eve said You know you’d be happier if you chilled out a little I crossed my arms I’m not taking advice from a giant tattered sunflower with pink mystery gunk on her knee Fine You won’t feel so superior tonight when I’m at the hottest party in school and you’re in your room reorganizing your closet or whatever I’m going out tonight I said Where Eve asked I’m babysitting Eve snorted I glared at her Save your snorts for the next time you have to wear a pig costume
Babysitting is a lot better than dressing up as a dorky flower and painting the faces of kids who cut off your petals and smear strange stuff on your stem Whatever See ya Eve left my room I called out Wouldn’t want to be ya But I sort of did want to be her Obviously I didn’t want Eve’s horrible job And even if I had her job I would never take an unauthorized unprofessional break to eat pizza and trade phone numbers and flirt with a cute boy But I would want to be ya if it meant getting invited to the hottest parties at my school Or even the not-so-hot parties I wouldn’t mind a warm party or even a lukewarm one Eve was three years older than me But it wasn’t our age difference that made Eve the life
