CHAPTER 1 Total Shaggy Mess I’m Alfie Wolfe and there’s one thing I hate Getting groomed Ugh I hate getting my hair cut or even brushed And getting dirt and junk dug out of my ears and fingernails Yuck I really hate getting it done proper-like by my mom It hurts it’s boring and it takes forever It’s the worst A few weeks ago I met a dog that hated getting groomed even more than I do if you can believe that Her
name was Molly Molly the West Highland white terrier White Ha Not even close When I first met her she didn’t even look like a Westie That’s the nickname for that kind of terrier Westies are pure white after they’re washed But Molly wouldn’t go anywhere near a bathtub so she was the color of dirt She wouldn’t let anyone near her with a hairbrush or scissors So she was a total shaggy mess too I couldn’t even see her eyes I’ll tell you the whole story about Molly the little mudball Maybe you’re saying Who cares So what if some dog didn’t want her hair washed and chopped off Who does
Well it turned out that somebody had a lot to lose if Molly didn’t get groomed like a show dog That somebody was me It all started on a Friday The day had started out normal At about seven o’clock I banged on my dog shaped alarm clock to make it stop barking I leaped out of bed and raced to get ready for school I had to beat my sister Alfreeda She makes everything into a contest See she always acts like alpha kid around our place Top dog in every way The fastest The smartest The strongest The bravest It drives me crazy But that day I had her beat in two departments dressing and grooming At alpha-guy speed I grabbed jeans and a Hound
Hotel T-shirt off my floor and tugged them on I dashed to the bathroom and bumped Alfreeda away from the mirror Hey cut it out she yelled Before she even had a chance to shove me back I rubbed my teeth with a finger of toothpaste I gave it one good rub Then I ran my fingers through my hair It just took one fast tug Done I said and jumped to the doorway Beat you Alfreeda rolled her eyes Alfie she said in her tired-teacher voice When will you ever get it Mom will just make you do it again Or she’ll take over and do it since you’re so helpless Like she always does I crossed my eyeballs at Alfreeda Doubt it I said
