CHAPTER 1 Alpha Mess-Maker I’m Alfie Wolfe and there’s one thing I hate cleaning It’s boring I’m bad at it And it’s a HUGE waste of time Here’s the thing I like things messy I like my stuff all over the place I don’t want to put my skateboard away every night I might need it quick the next morning for Pete’s sake But this story isn’t about how much I avoid cleaning
Well not totally It’s about a messy dog named Dudley A bulldog to be exact An English bulldog to be exacter The alpha mess-maker of the dog world to be exactest Alpha means first or top I think Dudley and I tied in mess-making skills I’m not bragging but creating messes comes real natural to me I hardly try and messes just happen Cleaning them up though That’s hard Nope I will never ever measure up in the wipe things-down department Or in the keeping-things spotless-and-neat department Not compared to my twin sister Alfreeda She’s the alpha kid in those areas Well fine She can have the honor But back to Dudley He and I had lots in common Mostly this We made messes and expected other people to clean them up
It all started one super-hot August morning I couldn’t wait to meet Dudley We’d never had an English bulldog stay at our dog hotel before A French bulldog had visited once but French bulldogs are littler with perky bat-like ears I was sitting on the living room floor watching TV and eating cereal Just killing time before Dudley arrived The TV show was called Mister Muttley’s Magic Hour A show for little kids about a crazy terrier that does magic tricks Suddenly my mom and sister came tearing down the stairs I jumped The milk in my bowl splashed over the edge and spilled on the rug I quickly moved in front of the mess so Mom wouldn’t notice The two of them were dressed for the workday in the dog kennels They wore matching jeans and Hound Hotel
T-shirts They stopped halfway across the living room and looked at the bottom of their shoes Oh Alfie Mom sighed You still haven’t wiped up the juice you spilled yesterday Now my shoes are all sticky again Mine too Alfreeda complained Sorry I said I kept staring at the TV Mom marched over and stood in front of the TV
