To Tom and Dov as always and to Cindy and my friends
Chapter One Bagels and Beans Hi Remember me I’m Josh Bernstein the kid with a dog named Bagels It’s Monday morning and Dad’s making breakfast Who’s up for baked beans in tomato sauce on a toasted bagel he asks holding up the can of Betsy Brown’s Baked Beans My sister Becky and I shout out We are It’s our favorite breakfast food 1
Bagels begins to drool He also loves Betsy Brown’s Baked Beans No Bagels Dad says I’m sorry but this is only for humans For reasons I won’t go into we try to keep beans away from Bagels But it’s actually the sauce he likes best That’s why I let him lick the dirty plates before they go into the dishwasher Actually we all like the sauce best Bagels’s other favorite foods are turkey sausages underwear old socks and of course bagels Our cat Creamcheese prefers to eat Cat Banquet According to the tv ads it’s the canned food for cats with good taste Lox our goldfish only eats dried bugs I guess he doesn’t have such good taste 2
You know Dad says to Becky and me you guys ought to be on a television commercial for these baked beans I don’t want to be on tv but Becky does And I’m sure Bagels does too He’s an actor Becky smiles at a nonexistent camera and mimics the tv ad Betsy Brown’s Baked Beans are the world’s favorite It’s all in the sauce Weroof barks Bagels as he turns the dog version of a cartwheel That’s when Mom rushes into the kitchen She’s waving a letter Can you guess what this is she says We’re all about to guess but she doesn’t give us time 3
