TwO The gates are farther away than I thought It doesn’t matter Remembering how I argued with Deb and Jer about bringing my phone keeps me going Jer had said If you lost it in the woods you’d never find it Then Deb said Remember the rule Lose it and you’re not getting another That thing cost a fortune You don’t need a phone in a campground Oh yes you do The only thing more boring than camping is tv golf I need the games on my phone to survive Games are the most important part of a good phone except for a place to charge it 6
which I will find somewhere in this stupid park after I get my phone I didn’t say that though because Grandpa had chimed in with Camping is about escaping cell phones Spencer But what if there’s an emergency That’s what grandpas are for I’ll have mine in the Jeep Turned off Case closed said Deb Well this is one emergency Grandpa can’t deal with What makes it worse is I was really truly only going to play games at bedtime or when Grandpa was napping for a reward like I figured I’d deserve it See Jer had given me a pep talk This trip means a lot to your Grandpa D He wants to take each of his grandsons somewhere bond with you Bernie would love to do the same thing Bernie is Jer’s dad my other grandpa He and Estelle live out west on Salt Spring Island Grandpa D is Deb’s dad David McLean It’s just a weekend Jer went on Promise to try to be a happy camper okay Just go with the flow give it a chance and 7 speed
I bet you’ll have fun And Grandpa D will love it He’ll be proud of you That’s true Grandpa knows I suck at outdoors stuff and I know that bugs him Luckily when we go to his cottage Bun and our cousins take up the slack for me while I read comics under the deck I take up the slack for Bun when Grandpa starts giving us advice Deb calls that Grandpa’s lecture mode She should know she’s a prof at York U and if that’s what university is like I think I’ll skip it I puff up to the SofteeSlurp ice-cream stand my glasses smeared with sweat There’s no phone where we sat A teenager is bagging trash and wiping tables I hurry over Did anyone turn in a phone He shakes his head No but I saw some dude pick one up from over there maybe an hour ago He points to the table we were at How long ago were we here If I had my phone I’d know Was the phone yellow I ask He shrugs His SofteeSlurp shirt has a rainbow of stains 8 ted staunton
Maybe he doesn’t notice colors I try again What did he look like He shrugs again Tall He had a blue coat and a weird hat The hat’s why I remember Light pants maybe white Maybe he does notice colors Did you see where he went Probably into the park He hefts a trash bag and walks away I am mega-doomed I head back into the park myself kicking at gravel on the road Somewhere in here is a tall guy in a blue jacket a funny hat and white pants who stole my phone How am I going to find him What will I do if I do find him Maybe Bun and I could team up I imagine Bun karate-kicking him into a batch of poison ivy while I swoop down from the trees to catch my phone as it goes sailing out of the guy’s greedy hairy hand I wish It ain’t gonna happen as Jer would say Instead what if when we get home I just say I left it in the living room I could even ask 9 speed
