Chapter 1 A Most Mondayish Monday The week I joined a team of superheroes didn’t start out all that superheroically In fact the only thing it seemed like I’d be joining was school detention As I came home from school on the most Mon dayish of Mondays I could tell something was up as soon as I reached our driveway The light was on in the hall As I opened the front door Dad was standing in the hallway He had the phone in one hand and did not look happy Guess who I’ve just spoken to Blue Robinson Dad said quietly Dad only calls me by my full name when I’m in trouble I know it’s a weird name My parents like to say I’m named after the song that was playing when they invented me a song called Blue Monday by New Order ironically they’re actually super old No they don’t think I’ve worked out what invented actually 5
means and yes can we change the subject because just thinking about that is enough to make a girl puke Dad didn’t wait for me to speak I have spoken to Mrs Froggatt who tells me that you weren’t in IT class today In fact she said that you weren’t in IT class last week either he said I bet Clark Kent never had to put up with these kinds of problems Oh yeah About that I said I was feeling ill this afternoon and I had to go to the chemist to buy some cough medicine and by the time I Look Blue I don’t like to start the week on a bad note but well I just know what’s good for you How are you going to become a mega success like your old Dad Or a slightly-less-mega-but-still-re spectable success like your Mum You know a lot of kids would kill to have a dad who looks out for them this much and gets them all the latest cool gadgets Look at the Broccoli Q500 all-in-one coleslaw slic er-mixer-grater I got you for Christmas You haven’t even used it once I bet I have I ate coleslaw just the other day I stammered Dad wasn’t buying it He just stood there shaking his big beardy head 6
He’s right not to buy it I’ve never touched the thing If I had to choose between eating cat sick or coleslaw I’d probably have to think about it I couldn’t give a monkey’s wotsit about Broccoli Inc either Dad works at Broccoli and so he assumes that everyone thinks it is as great as he thinks it is They make gadgets like the BackScratcher 5000 and the Fizzy Drink Debubbler Broccoli is run by this mysterious genius called Uncle Bee He’s never seen in public but the way Dad talks about him you’d think he was Einstein Elvis and Nelson Mandela rolled into one I had also missed IT class that day but there was a good reason Sam Swift was coming to Grimesville ComicFest in seven days time and tickets had gone on sale that morning He’s the man who wrote loads of my all-time favourite comics such as Katie the Koolest Koala from Kookaburra and Apocalypse Owl If you bought a tinned spam kidney pudding at Grimesville General Foods you got a free ComicFest ticket with it I was the first in line In fact I was the only one in line but I’m presuming that was just because not many people like spam 7
