I gave him a shove when my parents weren’t watching By now I was tired of looking like a freak so I said yes to the eighteen-inch-high bed Then I went to the bathroom even a girl It was the craggy-faced man from the jewelry table That necklace he said his voice like gravel I want it back As I washed my hands I studied my reflection with the necklace on Would people finally notice me because of it I’ve thought about it before about being noticed because I’m short and I have thin eyebrows and a thin nose and I’m not the most smiley person My hair is frizzy and isn’t a true Indian black like my parents more a dark brown with highlights you only see in the sun That sounds interesting but most people don’t notice the highlights or me Just then the door to the bathroom opened I thought it was Ana but it wasn’t her Or
At the beginning of summer Ma bought Randall and me each a pair of Air Jordans She got them off the street near St Vincent Ave and probably they were fakes but when you put them on you hoped they weren’t Like maybe the dude was selling them cheap because he needed the cash There was something sweet about the sound of the new rubber on the sidewalk the way it squeaked when I stopped in my tracks I wore my Jordans all summer even when my feet got sweaty and the shadows of Michael Jordan on the sides cracked I wore them because Randall did and it was one way of telling the world we were brothers though Randall probably didn’t see it that way The Saturday night before he disappeared Randall slipped his Jordans on and went out the fire escape to meet with his crew But when I tried to follow him like I always did he stopped me I can’t have you tripping on your face and getting hurt he said standing on the fire escape while I was at the window I don’t do that I said insulted Your feet are too big That makes you a clown Stay home clown But you need me How else will you climb back up I’ve got my brothers he said When he said that it stabbed me inside my chest I’m your brother You’re a clown I tried to think of something to say that would stop him from leaving without me What’s in the duffel bag I asked I was talking about the blue canvas bag Randall kept locked and hidden under his bed which he went through at night when he thought I was asleep I knew the duffel bag had belonged to our pop And our pop was dead I watched him Then I thought why do I always have to listen to him So I didn’t I went out the window the way he did The metal rungs of the fire escape were bumpy with rust under my hands At the end of the steps I jumped I hit the ground hard like I always did scuffing up my knees But so far I’d never broken my legs Ten minutes later Randall reached the train station with me twenty paces away I hid behind a trash can Up ahead I saw all the guys Skinny MaxD Nike and the two Points dressed in dark clothes with scarves around their faces There was no moon and None of your business Randall said Go back to sleep Petey Then he leaped down to the sidewalk below
barely any light except from the platform The guys had a small convo and got to it I heard the sound of spraying Over the summer I’d watched Randall paint First he was Speed Then he was Mighty the name everyone now called him He always used orange and his letters filled up the sides of empty parking lots bus yards and the Saw Mill Parkway But now at the end of a long hot summer his crew had finally hit the train station I heard Randall say it was where they could reach the most people But I didn’t get who they wanted to reach or what they were trying to say Whenever Randall went out with his crew the next morning he acted like nothing happened The spray paint was gone the duffel bag out of sight and he was a just a regular kid But this night it all came to an end Maybe they didn’t have an ear for it but from where I crouched behind the trash can I heard it loud and clear The platform walls were no good for them not big enough or bad enough Which was why the crew had jumped down next to the tracks near the third rail with all those warning signs blazing everywhere about DANGER and DEATH BY ELECTROCUTION If that wasn’t enough to give you the creeps now there was the Train of Death rounding the bend Randall was spraying big strokes of orange when I first started yelling Soon as I did Skinny MaxD Nike and the two Points looked up They saw me jumping up and down and then they themselves heard the Train of Death That got them going and they leaped over the third rail hoisting themselves onto the platform next to me But what was Randall the crazy fool doing My brother was putting the finishing touches on a new tag Om It was a word I’d never seen Randall glanced at us then at a rat that ran past him wobbling along the third rail like it was running for its life Randall must have heard the train but he looked and looked at the rat like all the answers lay in that stupid rodent Meanwhile we could see the lights of the train What in the world was Randall waiting for Jump the rail man everyone was yelling at him Randall’s face was a sea of concentration and I could feel myself straining as if I was willing him with every bone in my body to jump Then I caught my breath as he did Not over the third rail but on top of it both feet planted at the same time balancing on the rubber soles of his Air Jordans Then he leaped again flying through the air and landing squarely on the platform fully extended while the train rushed by behind him What had my brother done He had landed on the third rail and lived to tell about it The crew piled on him rocked him back and forth messed his hair laughing and cursing MaxD said Mighty you lifted that tag from somewhere Nike said Aw give it a rest Max MaxD shifted his weight In fact I know you lifted that tag
Nike stared MaxD down Did you hear me Give it a rest Didn’t you see Mighty It was the fakes that made him fly one of the Points said And that’s when my brother punched me even though I hadn’t said a word Don’t ever follow me again he said But his punch didn’t hurt He looked downright sad like somebody died Randall wouldn’t talk on the way home On the fire escape I felt his strong slippery grasp as I pulled him up and he crashed into me on the metal landing He frowned With your clown feet there’s no way you’d clear that rail What are you talking about I wasn’t down there with you Still he said darkly You didn’t clear that rail You stood on it You and the rat How’d you do it Tell fly me I waited for him to explain the magic I had on the same Jordans Everyone knows rubber soles can do that even fakes so long as you don’t ground yourself But don’t you try it Petey Don’t you ever go down with that crew Then he looked me square in the eye and said Promise Randall never made me promise anything Promises weren’t what we did But I promised anyway There was no chance I was going anywhere with those losers I didn’t need them But I knew Randall needed me no matter what he thought Crew or no crew The next morning Randall was gone So were his clothes wallet and 120 bucks from the candy jar in the kitchen On Ma’s bed he’d left a note Don’t find me The only thing that wasn’t gone was the duffel bag That he left under my bed and I don’t know why Maybe as a secret message to me When Ma read her note she stormed out from her bedroom When did you last see him she demanded That’s when I broke down Swearing she dragged me to the train station where we stood with the other commuters staring at the two letters my brother had left on the wall Om Only now across the blazing orange of Randall’s tag someone had added in black paint three straight lines going up and down like an angry bear slash Ma’s eyes flashed with fear But I couldn’t tell who she was afraid for my brother or us She looked around like somebody might be watching Come on Petey she whispered Come quick What about Randall I whimpered She looked at me He’ll be back don’t worry Unless She stopped What Ma I whispered Will the cops catch him She shook her head as if she was thinking of something much worse We hurried away and I wondered who could be worse than the cops Now it was Saturday again A whole week had gone by and we hadn’t talked about
