Guess who Yep it’s Hades back again to debunk another Greek myth Want to guess why I’m debunking The answer’s a four-letter word that starts with the letter Z If you guessed Zeus bingo My Underworld Dictionary defines bunk as claptrap or twaddle Check your own dictionary I’ll bet it says the same thing My little brother Zeus is the Boss of Bunk He’s so full of bunk he ought to sleep in a bunk bed When Zeus decided to redo The Big Fat Book of Greek Myths he bunked up the myths but good He threw out parts he didn’t like He made up new bits and stuck them in wherever he felt like it The big myth-o-maniac old Greek speak for big fat liar basically lied up a storm to make himself look like a powerful thunder god He heaped on the bunk so thick that now it’s impossible for you mortals to tell what really happened and what he just felt like tossing in Take the myth about Pandora You’ve heard the expression opening up a Pandora’s box The only reason anyone ever says that is because they’ve bought Zeus’s version of the myth hook line and sinker Here it is in black and white Go on Read it straight
from The Big Fat Book Total claptrap Zeus gave Pandora a box all right A box full of really nasty items But disease Pain Greed No way Those things were around long before Pandora showed up Zeus did give Pandora the gift of curiosity That much is true But the whole thing was just a setup so he could win a bet he’d made with me The old bunk-meister tricked me his trusting older brother into betting him that Pandora would never open the box Zeus put big money on her popping off the lid right away But she didn’t It drove him so nuts that he spent years trying to trick her into opening it
Oh don’t get me wrong Pandy was curious She never stopped asking questions But she was smart too As curious as she was she knew better than to open any nasty old box from Zeus Are you curious about Pandora Do you wonder what it was like to be the one and only mortal woman in a world of mortal men Do you want to hear the real story of Pandora and her famous box If you answered Yes Yes YES then it’s your lucky day Just start on the next page I’ve written it all down for you
