MYTH 3 People were more or less filthy until around the start of the twentieth century Tell that to the ancient Egyptians Aztecs Chinese and Greeks who were pretty sensible about cleanliness and to the Romans who were extravagantly clean Even medieval Europeans enjoyed a regular trip to the local steam bath Especially in the West there is no straight line of progress from dirty to clean It’s all over the map MYTH 4 Doctors and scientists are the best sources of advice when it comes to cleanliness Not so at different periods in history some of the worst advice came from medical men and scientists Even today the experts don’t always agree on how important it is to be sparklingly clean MYTH 5 Washing is something you do in private In the West many of us do expect to be alone when we wash our naked bodies But for the Romans getting clean was a party And it still can be for modern Indonesians Turks Finns Hungarians and other people around the world who wash in company 6 All the Dirt
MYTH 6 Getting yourself clean is a personal ritual with no connection to the larger world Cleanliness is closely connected to religion culture geography and science all around the world It has been influenced by such things as the spread of Islam the American Civil War the Industrial Revolution the worst plague ever the abundance of hot springs in Japan the discovery of the germ theory the birth of advertising the development of the American hotel and much more Exploring the history of cleanliness is kind of like seeing the history of the world through a soap bubble MYTH 7 Keeping your body clean is healthy Not so Only one simple cleaning practice is important for your health And you’re going to have to read to the end of this book to find out what it is MYTH 8 Cleanliness is a nice polite subject Wrong again There’s a lot that’s gross about cleanliness If you’re squeamish be forewarned this book contains references to poop bodily fluids strong smells and other shocking subjects Have fun 7 Introduction Eight Myths About Clean
Chapter 1 Ancient Grime 3000 BCE to 306 CE Telemachus on Tour Pylos and Sparta twelfth century BCE Telemachus was miserable His father Odysseus had left for the Trojan War when Telemachus was a baby He’d been gone for 20 years and no one knew where he was Telemachus’s house was filled with rude violent men who wanted to marry his mother Penelope They ate his food drank his wine and sang their drunken songs all night Telemachus hated these bullies but he was young and awkward and didn’t know how to get rid of them The goddess Athena came to him in disguise and told him that his childhood was over now he must be strong and go searching for his father If he found that Odysseus was dead Athena said Telemachus must return home and kill his mother’s suitors 8 All the Dirt
That was a scary task but Athena filled the boy with confidence and he sailed for Pylos home of King Nestor Nestor’s mansion was everything Telemachus’s disorderly house was not and Nestor was the perfect host ready with food drink a jug of water for hand washing and above all a bath Important guests in ancient Greece were normally offered a bath when they arrived as well as a servant to bathe them but because his father was a famous king and warrior Telemachus got extra-special treatment The person who bathed him was none other than the king’s youngest daughter Polycaste and she rubbed him with olive oil after the bath Wearing a tunic that Polycaste had given him Telemachus emerged from his bath as handsome as a young god Everywhere he went people noticed his resemblance to his father but the boy also wanted to act like his father resourceful and brave Next he traveled to Sparta where King Menelaus and his queen Helen welcomed him There too he was given a hot bath with all the trimmings this time by servants The courtesy and comfort of their palace and the respect they showed Telemachus left him with new poise Now in spite of the difficulties he was determined to find his father and to rid his house of the bullies who wanted to marry his mother Bathing Telemachus’s father Ancient Grime 3000 BCE to 306 CE 9
