Hades Speaks!: A Guide to the Underworld by the Greek God of the Dead
GREETINGS MORTAL ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF I am Hades king of the ancient Greek underworld also known as The God of the Dead The Dark Lord and Lord of the Place of Darkness The Romans also called me Pluto which meant wealth And not just because I was rich in good looks and charm but because I had control of all the gold and silver under the
Both the Greeks and the Romans sometimes referred to me as He Who Must Not Be Named Yes that's right Way before Voldemort and Harry Potter the ancients were afraid to call my name out loud They feared that if I heard them I'd be compelled to drag them down to the underworld Honestly I found this idea quite insulting I was a king A ruler I did not bag and tag humans like some evil hunter whenever I heard my name I let my monstrous minions do that You will meet many of them on this tour of my home monsters such as the multi headed dog Cerberus and the goat legged flame haired vampire demon Empusa among many others But do not be afraid They will not touch you as long as you stay near me Oh also do not eat any of the luscious pomegranates that grow near my palace because if you do you will never return to the land of the living Why rush things right Please step right up onto my gleaming chariot led by four giant dark horses Hold on tight because when my stallions start racing we run straight down into a hole in the ground The noise of the earth opening is spectacular by the way kind of like the worst tearing ripping crashing sound you can imagine
What You'd rather not fly into the ground at top speed with me on my chariot Fine we'll go the boring way We'll walk down through one of my many secret cave entrances There's one right outside your bedroom Are you ready I've been waiting for you to visit me for a very long
