Dead Possums Are Fair Game

Dead Possums Are Fair Game — page 7 — 4 Dead Possums Are Fair Game I had two major phobias in life spiders and mathematics I ﬁrmly believed anything with more than four legs should not exist I also believed the world would be a better place without fractions or long division The more I thought about it the more likely it seemed my unavoidable bad luck would have something to do with math Or spiders but my money was on math I had experienced a spider issue already this year so it was math’s turn to make my life miserable I was teeter-tottering between a C and a D in the subject and my parents had informed me if I got a D I’d have to go to tutoring classes all summer long I was so intent on ﬁnding Jolina I didn’t pay attention to where I was walking Ella look out Lucille yelled She yanked me back so hard I lost my balance and fell to the muddy ground Lucille O’Reilly I squealed What did you do that for I picked myself up and tried to brush oﬀ the mud Instead I ended up smearing it across my shorts You almost stepped on that

Dead Possums Are Fair Game — page 8 — Luck 5 She pointed at the ground Lying on its back was a very ugly very wet and very dead opossum the source of the bad smell Its four hairy legs stuck straight up in the air and a frozen expression grinned at me Flies buzzed around its stiﬀ body I jumped back Oh gross I can’t believe I almost stepped on it Lucille grabbed my arm and pulled me away My shrieking however had caught the attention of Harry the weird guy in our class and he trotted over Common sense wasn’t Harry’s strong point he would take any bet someone oﬀered him The year before when we were in fourth grade a ﬁfth grader in the cafeteria had bet Harry ﬁve dollars he couldn’t eat ﬁfty packets of ketchup and then chug three cartons of chocolate milk without throwing up Harry made it through the ketchup and two and half cartons of milk then started choking He coughed so hard the rest of the milk came out his nose which he had said technically wasn’t throwing up As Harry stared at the dead opossum his eyes widened Ms Carpenter Ms Carpenter Look a possum he bellowed It’s dead At least I think

Dead Possums Are Fair Game — page 9 — 6 Dead Possums Are Fair Game it’s dead maybe it’s just playin dead they can do that ya know Do you think it’s dead Ms Carpenter and several students slogged through the mud toward us Sacre bleu Ah will give you a dollar to touch zee possum arry Jean-Pierre said Jean-Pierre had moved from France the previous month and obviously someone had already told him about Harry’s willingness to take bets You’re on But you didn’t say I had to use my hand so I’ll poke it with this stick Harry pushed his glasses high up on his nose picked up a stick ly ing in the grass and reached toward the opossum Ms Carpenter snatched the stick from Harry’s hand I glanced at Harry I’d never seen a more disappointed look There he was surrounded by his fellow ﬁfth-graders and publicly stripped not only of his right to earn a dollar but also to poke a possibly dead animal Ms Carpenter’s face on the other hand had turned a sickly green color She covered her nose with her hand I’ll notify the custodian about the animal I’m sure he’ll know what to do Meanwhile

Dead Possums Are Fair Game — page 10 — Luck 7 everybody go play on the far side of the ﬁeld closer to the playground and stay out of this area She shooed us away while reaching for her walkie talkie The boys let out groans of disappointment as we walked toward the playground for the precious few minutes of playtime left before the ﬁrst bell Ms Carpenter called after me Oh Ella do you want to call your mom and ask her to bring you some clean clothes No thanks I’m ﬁne I stared down at my dirt-smeared shorts Just my luck I cringed at the thought of wearing the muddy clothes all day Truthfully I did want to call my mom but knew I needed to ﬁnd Jolina and get math help in case we had a quiz Clean clothes would have to wait

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