Eli winced and stared down at his plate Her mother’s voice dropped dangerously low You will leave him out of this Rivka shrugged and tore off another piece of challah If you don’t go to synagogue tomorrow morning her dad said you can’t go to the party in the evening She glared at him across the table Like I wanted to go anyway Out of the corner of her eye she could see Noah shaking his head in the most annoying adult way ever Her mom was ready to go volcanic Eli’s eyes squinched up like he was going to cry She couldn’t stand to look at any of them for another second It’s not that big a deal she said Rivka her mother warned Rivka ignored her and pulled off another huge piece of challah This is about your commitment to our syna gogue community said her dad Rivka jumped out of her chair so fast it almost fell over The candle flames guttered and nearly went out She felt hot like the air in the room had thickened It was smothering her They all were smothering her 5
Your commitment she yelled Yours Not mine She was halfway to her room upstairs when she yelled back down I didn’t ask to be Jewish Rivka slammed the door and threw herself on the bed Being twelve was the worst All the other Jewish boys and girls her age were buried in preparation for their bar and bat mitzvahs Studying Hebrew Learning to chant from the Torah Doing community service projects Rivka had been doing it all too working hard for her own bat mitzvah in November when she would turn thirteen Then the bad thing happened The thing she refused to even think about And Rivka dug her heels in No bat mitzvah No more singing at Shabbat dinner And definitely no more synagogue That’s what got her sent to Quartz Creek Ranch Rivka pushed herself into a seated position and picked up the glossy brochure The cover photo showed a green field full of horses Inside were various shots of kids her age collecting eggs from 6
underneath fluffy white chickens riding ponies and toasting marshmallows around a fire It looked a whole lot like Jewish summer camp But the description That was a doozy It described the Colorado ranch as a camp for kids struggling to navigate life’s challenges Rivka wanted to gag Forging connections through riding therapy horses was not her idea of fun At least there wouldn’t be any more family dinners And the chickens looked kind of cute Rivka surveyed her packing progress A stack of clean jeans and T-shirts A couple of flannels Socks and undies Pajamas Brown cowboy boots Her raincoat with the zip-in fleece liner A Red Sox baseball hat There was a knock at the door What Rivka It was her mom Can I come in I’m changing Rivka lied Are you okay her mom asked through the door She didn’t sound sour or pinched She seemed almost sorry It made Rivka feel like her skin was on too tight I’m fine Mom Just packing 7
After a long silence her mom asked How’s it coming along Fine Another silence Really said Rivka I’m fine On the other side of the closed door her mom shifted but didn’t leave Finally she said I’ll be in the living room if you need me okay I’ve got it under control Mom said Rivka And she did She was positive of it All Rivka had to do was get the heck away from her family and their expectations They left her alone that night and the next morn ing Rivka stayed in bed feigning sleep until the rest of her family had left for Natalie’s bat mitzvah at the synagogue Twenty-four more hours and she’d be on her way out of town The clock couldn’t tick fast enough 8
