book As you are about to find out But unusual doesn’t mean it is silly or a load of nonsense It is a true story Make no mistake about it You will understand that Grown-ups won’t And if a grown-up happens to be reading this to you as a bedtime story then they must keep their remarks to themself There then I’ve gotten that off my chest so let’s begin Have you ever heard of the Bolds You probably have They’re a lovely family who live at 41 Fairfield Road in Teddington They’re always laughing always joking Mr Bold works in the local Christmas cracker factory writing the jokes Mrs Bold makes and sells elaborate hats at
the local market And their twins Betty and Bobby are such sweet adorable children Also living with them are Uncle Tony and Miranda who they rescued from a safari park Yes that’s right a safari park you did hear me correctly Because the Bolds are a rather unusual family who do unusual things We all have secrets but their secret is BIGGER and hairier than most You see behind closed doors they’re not a family like yours or mine A human family Oh dear me no They’re a family of hyenas pretending to be humans from the tips of their furry ears right down to their paws No one knows Except us 3
You’re probably in shock Indeed so was I when I first heard about them but in actual fact it’s not as shocking as you might think There are a lot of animals out there living their lives pretending to be humans Giraffes who stack shelves in grocery stores pigs who eat popcorn noisily all the way through films in the cinema bulldogs who work outside nightclubs In fact the Bolds next-door neighbor Mr McNumpty is an animal too A grizzly bear And while he and the Bolds have had their differences in the past he’s now firm friends with them and pops over most evenings for a game of dominoes and a couple of pork chops Except for Tuesdays There are no games of dominoes that night because Tuesday nights in the Bolds neat semi-detached house are 4
very special Tuesday nights are Grooming Night You might think this means face masks and manicures but you’d be wrong In fact the Bolds and deaf old Uncle Tony and Miranda the marmoset monkey all sit in a circle scratching rubbing and nibbling each other making sure all the loose fur comes out and any bits of mud or fluff that might be lurking there are removed Not to mention the fleas
