My father leaned over to pet Mona Bye old girl he said Take good care of these women He sighed Mona wagged her knobby tail and sighed back We can take care of ourselves my mother said My father lifted me up in the air I put my head on his shoulder You’re getting heavy Kiki my father said I can hear my bones creak Weakling I mumbled Sweetheart my father answered He let me down Then he lifted up my mother Only a little bit I listened No creaking at all The taxi’s here my mother said My father dragged his suitcase to the taxi and climbed in My mother ran after him My father lowered the window and gave her a kiss Kiss he called to me I climbed up the garden wall and raised my hand Bye I said The taxi drove away
Mona can sigh from both ends Most of her sighs come from her rear end She lets out soft stinky little farts Mona’s front end only sighs when you pat her And I never do She was old and dirty when we got her Nobody wanted her except for my mother Every day Mona gets a little older and uglier She is small and fat She has short hair that stands up straight and a little stumpy tail Her eyes bulge out she has big ears and her little teeth stick out from under her upper lip And from the very beginning she has hated me If she gets a chance she lies next to me and farts One day she bit off half of my name bracelet Only a little piece was left Now your name is Ki my mother said I want a new one I said A new dog or a new bracelet Both Ki my mother said That’s not such a bad name My mother loves stuff that’s wrecked Our living room is full of things that normal people would throw out We have a cracked mirror a couch with flat cushions and a chair with a broken back My mother works in a store where they sell secondhand furniture And when something doesn’t
sell she brings it home My father doesn’t care about stuff He only cares about people My father’s taxi drove around the corner Mona waddled with her short legs down the garden path Too late I said He’s gone A sigh escaped from Mona’s rear end
We were sitting on the couch with flat cushions My mother and I And Mona Mona was snoring on my mother’s lap Do you know about stray bullets I asked Don’t think about that my mother said I could see from the look on her face that she didn’t want to think about stray bullets either But they do exist I said I know my mother answered But the chances of running into one are very very small Maybe Daddy will run into one I said Maybe he’ll walk into a stray bullet That’s possible And then I won’t have a father anymore Anything is possible my mother said Something can always happen The story of the man who was afraid of everything I said That’s a stupid story my mother said In real life it’s much more complicated I’ll try to explain it to you It’s all about something called the odds For instance the odds that you’ll become a millionaire are very very small The odds that you’ll find a coin in the street are a lot bigger You
