There I am said the manticore pointing her barbed tail at the name Tiffany Smithers-Pendleton She reached into her backpack with her tail When she brought it out a piece of paper was impaled on the end Do you know where I turn in my immunization record
I pointed in the direction of the infirmary I couldn’t speak A cold dread filled my body I didn’t have to check the other lists I knew I was back in the D-Hum The D-Hum Oh the humanity And I mean that literally
Slow and steady wins the race if you have minions to sabotage your opponent ANCIENT MINION PROVERB T Best he D-Hum was a two-story wood-shingled building with peeling white trim It looked like an unwanted toolshed next to its neighbor the Dormitory for Minions of Impressive Size the D-MIS That immense stone building had a wide portico giant Ionic columns and two stone griffins standing guard at the bottom of the steps Their motto was engraved above the missing front door Anything in Our Way Will Be Destroyed By contrast the motto above the D-Hum read Just Do Your I didn’t belong in the D-Hum I belonged in the Momido with the other werewolves but it had been full two years ago when I was a first-year It was full last year too because monster minions are always in high demand Humans on the
other hand are not When I returned to the D-Hum I found my roommate Darthin standing in front of a mirror as he adjusted some fake horns on his head He’d also painted himself gray What are you doing I asked Besides the fake horns and gray skin his blond hair had been slicked flat and he smiled with fake fangs I’m gonna be a gargoyle he said At Mad Scientist Camp they said gargoyles make the best assistants Every mad scientist wants one They’re very protective really scary and can turn into stone I’m not sure why that’s good but they can do it And if they have wings they can reach things on high shelves Don’t they sometimes eat people I asked That’s actually another plus Darthin said Mad scientists need someone to blame for the ah accidental deaths Why don’t you be a mad scientist yourself I asked You’re the smartest guy I know Too much pressure he said All those presentations I hate oral reports you know that He turned back to the mirror pulling on some gloves that had claws built into the fingers I’m just testing out the look If I like it I think I can concoct a potion to make the changes more permanent Oh kay Poor Darthin He probably wanted to look like a monster because they terrified him He rarely left the dorm if he was alone he was so frightened of bumping into a mummy or an ogre or anything else nonhuman I heard you made it into the Junior Henchman Training Program he said Congratulations
