DiGHitchlorels School for Minors Dr Derek Cridle Professor of Normang in Ann Durbin Beng last Dennis Niss Karen Merahend Mistress in But Higgins She said Ben Tatup Boris Taleoeder Doe Gail Frankenhuman Interner of Ring
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day Give a man a minion and the minion will fish for him ANCIENT MINION PROVERB T he beast in front of me had the body of a lion a human face with three rows of very sharp teeth and a scorpion’s tail tipped with a barb the size of an ice pick The manticore was a triple threat of maiming biting and poisoning and she was in my way She wasn’t the only one The courtyard was crowded with bodies jostling to get a look at the list posted on the wall The manticore reared up on her hind legs and I had to jump back to avoid her barb Can you see anything I asked No she said plopping back down Those ogres are blocking my view Most of the students in front of me were first-years looking for their dorm assignments I was a third-year hoping that this
time for once they had moved me to the right dorm I’ll probably be in the Monster Minion Dormitory the manticore said The Momido I nodded Unless it’s full Sometimes they put monsters in the D-Hum The D-Hum The Dormitory for Human Minions I said I should know I’d been stuck there for two years Last year I’d missed out on some important events because the notices had only been posted in the Momido And not just the fun stuff like Night Prowls and games of Capture the Human I was late signing up for the MMA tournament and that really stung I loved Mixed Monster Arts Hey ogres I yelled Three warty faces turned to look down at me their bottom fangs jutting up like boars tusks They were kids barely eight feet tall but honestly there was only one option for them Try the Dormitory for Minions of Impressive Size I suggested pointing to the list on the right They waved their clubs in thanks and moved out of the way I grabbed the manticore’s tail and swung it in front of me like a sword forcing her to follow me backward Excuse me Third year coming through We edged past a bunch of kids who looked human but they could’ve been anything werewolves vampires shape-shifters or actual humans their bad luck I pushed through a couple of monkey-men a lizard-boy and some mummies At last we reached the wall I held my breath partly because I was nervous and partly because the mummies smelled like piles of old gym socks with
morning breath I scanned the Momido room assignments Runt Higgins I whispered Come on Where’s my name My heart beat faster as I scrolled down the list It wasn’t there This has got to be a mistake I said and I started over at the top
