wiping blood from his lip I’ll tell the police that I saw the two of you struggling said Velma calmly I’ll cry huge tears boo hoo and say that I grabbed the gun in a panic closed my eyes and kept pulling the trigger I killed the burglar Unfortunately I killed you too There will be tears Lots of tears I’m good at tears I know said Jake But you’re forgetting one thing Velma I’m good at stuff too I’m wired Velma The police are listening to every word we say and you’ve just confessed to murder Nice try Jake said Velma while I quietly snagged another handful of popcorn from Susan If you were wired the police would be kicking down the front door They don’t need to kick down doors said Jake They’re at the window When Velma glanced toward the living-room window Jake Danger pulled on the runner carpet that led to the doorway where Velma stood She started to fall her arms waving wildly Jake Danger rolled behind the sofa as a shot tore through the material beside him He pulled out his own gun lined
up the barrel with the bullet hole in the sofa and fired He heard Velma fall Jake slowly stood up his gun ready As soon as he saw her Jake Danger knew that Velma Woodington the shampoo heiress who wanted even more money than the millions she had would be leaving her fortune to some distant relative she’d never even met Greed said Jake slowly shaking his head I guess it keeps me in business THE END flashed across the screen and the credits began to roll Somebody turned on the gym lights and somebody else stopped the projector People in the bleachers began to stand and stretch Who picked that stinker I asked leaning toward Susan I think it was your dad said Susan Exactly 143 people lived in our fishing village up the coast from Vancouver but below Prince Rupert There were no roads to New Auckland so every Thursday the seaplane pilot Max flew in three films along with the groceries people had ordered for the coming week
There was a small cooler in the plane just big enough for four tubs of ice cream Max always brought one tub of chocolate one vanilla one cherry and one milk-free sorbet None of the village refrigerators could keep ice cream cold enough so all four tubs were devoured Thursday night just as the movie started We also ate about ten pounds of popcorn So you knew it was Velma I asked as Susan and I walked out the door It was spring and starting to stay light later I could still see traces of pink in the clouds above the mountains Of course I knew silly said Susan as we ambled along the wooden sidewalk How Susan shrugged I am a woman she replied softly Women can always tell when another woman is evil Susan was the same age as me twelve It seemed to me that she wasn’t quite a woman yet but I didn’t say that Instead I said You know what I don’t understand I know many things you don’t understand Thumb I probably know more about what you don’t understand than you will ever understand
Hey why the insult Susan sighed and shook her head It wasn’t an insult It was a fact Just tell me what you don’t understand this time and maybe I can help Okay here’s the thing Every week at least two of the movies we watch have characters who are definitely bad guys right What do you mean by bad guys You know people who break the law and try to get away and don’t really care if other people get hurt Men women who are not very nice Sure Movies have bad guys in them And none of those movies would be very interesting if there weren’t bad guys right Susan thought for a moment Some movies aren’t very interesting even with bad guys Yeah but without bad guys they’d just be movies about people taking plane rides and going to work and mowing their lawns and hugging their kids None of us would go see them even if there was free ice cream and popcorn and nothing much else to do most nights except count stars Susan laughed Movies aren’t about real life Thumb
