NO WAY YOU’RE BACK GEEZ I CAN’T GET RID OF YOU EITHER YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A SECRET AGENT OR YOU’RE JUST A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT YOU ARE AWARE THAT THIS LINE OF WORK HAS A HIGH DEATH RATE CORRECT YOU COULD BE KILLED IN A NUMBER OF TERRIBLE WAYS PLUS YOU HAVE TO BUY YOUR OWN TUXEDO FINE THERE’S NO TALKING YOU OUT OF IT I GUESS THAT’S HOW IT SHOULD BE MEMBERS OF NERDS ARE MENTALLY TOUGH AND AREN’T SWAYED BY A LITTLE THING LIKE EXCRUCIATING DEATH STILL DON’T COME CRYING TO ME IF YOU GET YOURSELF KILLED CAUSE ALL YOU’LL GET FROM ME IS AN I TOLD YOU SO OK PAL LET’S GET STARTED FIRST TELL ME YOUR CODE NAME
HA THAT CODE NAME IS DOWNRIGHT GOOFY YOU SHOULD HAVE A SUPERCOOL CODE NAME LIKE MINE BEANPOLE THAT’S THE KIND OF NAME THAT STRIKES FEAR IN A VILLAIN’S HEART YEAH BEANPOLE WHAT’S SO FUNNY GRRR ENOUGH WITH THE GIGGLING I HEARD YOU WERE BELLYACHING BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN SENT ON ANY MISSIONS YET WELL THERE’S A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON FOR THAT YOU HAVEN’T SIGNED THE WAIVER WHAT’S A WAIVER IT’S A LEGAL DOCUMENT THAT FREES OUR ORGANIZATION OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU HAPPEN TO SUFFER A LOSS OF LIMB OR DIE YOU NEED TO SIGN IT BEFORE WE CAN GET STARTED THE I KNOW I COULD DIE WAIVER I __________________________________ AM PERFECTLY AWARE THAT THE LIFE OF A SPY IS ONE WHERE I COULD BE KILLED IN A NUMBER OF VIOLENT AND TOTALLY GROSS WAYS INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
A BEAR ATTACK A KILLER BEE ATTACK FALLING OUT OF A PLANE BEING PUSHED OUT OF A PLANE FALLING THROUGH THE GLASS ROOF OF A SWORD FACTORY A RACE CAR ACCIDENT A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT A GOLF CART ACCIDENT AN ATTACK BY MUTATED OR HYBRID CREATURES BEING BEATEN TO DEATH BY GOONS THUGS TOADIES MINIONS OR CAN’T OTHER LARGE-MUSCLED CHARACTERS A SPEED BOAT CRASH DROWNING BEING FED TO SHARKS PIRANHAS ELECTRIC EELS ANY OF THE GREAT CATS OR ANY OF THE LESSER CATS BEING LOCKED IN A SAFE AND TOSSED INTO THE OCEAN A LASER BLAST TO THE FACE BEING TIED TO A ROCKET AND LAUNCHED INTO SPACE BEING VAPORIZED BEING DISINTEGRATED BEING RUN OVER BY A TANK BEING RUN OVER BY A BUS BEING RUN OVER BY ANYTHING HAVING MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF BEING BLOWN UP AND PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING ELSE I CAN IMAGINE AND QUITE A NUMBER OF THINGS I
I AM ALSO AWARE THAT I COULD BE TERRIBLY INJURED IN A HOST OF TROUBLING SCENARIOS THAT WOULD CAUSE MY OWN FAMILY TO AVERT THEIR EYES FROM MY HORRIBLY DISFIGURED FACE AND BODY INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO BEING BURNED PUSHED INTO A TUB OF ACID DRAGGED BY A SPEEDBOAT ACROSS A CORAL REEF USED AS A GUINEA PIG BY AN EVIL SCIENTIST USED AS A GUINEA PIG BY A GOOD SCIENTIST WHO IS FORCED BY SOMEONE ELSE TO PERFORM EVIL SCIENCE MELTED PUSHED INTO A WOOD CHIPPER STRAPPED TO AN OUTRAGEOUSLY LARGE PENDULUM FEATURING AN ALMOST RIDICULOUSLY GIGANTIC RAZOR AND THEN SLICED IN HALF ATTACKED BY VARMINTS DUNKED IN HONEY AND BURIED NEAR A FIRE-ANT COLONY PLUS SUBJECTED TO A WHOLE HOST OF REALLY GROSS THINGS I WOULDN’T EVEN FIND IN A HORROR MOVIE
