matter although I spotted her familiar red plastic jacket with the bunnies-and-carrots print draped over her chair I hoped they would notice my t-shirt It read Change is good You go first I like to collect sayings I’ve heard and print the best ones on t-shirts Lately I had been giving them away as gifts My dad got I’m fine with a bloodstain printed beneath the words He likes to wear it in his workshop in the garage or when he goes to the hardware store I thought that if I were to make a t-shirt for Pascal it might read There are three kinds of people those who are good at math and those who aren’t Pascal had an answer for everything even if he had to take a wild stab in the dark But I wasn’t so sure about Merrilee I didn’t know her as well as Pascal although I remembered that she was quite the archaeologist when she was little She had a peculiar habit of burying things in the school’s sandbox then later digging them up Maybe her t-shirt would read X marks the spot The cemetery work crew we were assigned to arrived in full force all three of them Students I’d like you to meet the Twillingate Cemetery Brigade This is Mr Creelman Mr Preeble and Mr Wooster Loyola announced
Each one glowered more fiercely than the next All three stood dripping in their raincoats Loyola eyed the stack of books that Merrilee had been leafing through and quietly moved them to another table for protection Creelman broke away from the trio His thick white eyebrows reminded me of a portrait of my grandfather that I’d done back in grade one I had been really inventive by gluing on cotton balls for his eyebrows No sense cleaning grave markers today he announced digging out a thick wad of wrinkled yellowed notes from inside his raincoat pocket Instead you’ll have your first lesson on how to read weathered stones Creelman paused Was he expecting us to clap All he got was the sound of rain slamming against the cheerless stained glass above our heads Let’s see how much you know Creelman said plowing along even without applause What are most of our nineteenth-century stones made out of Nineteenth century Pascal repeated You mean the Not old Weathered Creelman barked pounding the really old ones table for effect I startled Merrilee flinched Concrete Pascal guessed undaunted As I said he had an answer for everything but even I
knew that he was way way off Creelman stared him down probably trying to figure out if Pascal was joking or not His cotton-ball eyebrows collided into one straight line Anybody else he growled turning to Merrilee and me We quickly shook our heads me unable to look away from those comical brows Marble he pronounced And then he repeated himself as if we were idiots Mar-ble We shifted in our hard wooden seats Does marble last forever he asked eyebrows now arched statues It felt like a trick question Merrilee and I didn’t bite but Pascal quickly weighed in Yes it does For sure Look at the ancient Greek Creelman snorted Ancient Greek statues aren’t forever he declared pounding the table again That’s why there aren’t many left and they end up inside museums for protection He had a point It even silenced Pascal for a moment And do you know why marble doesn’t last Creelman continued laying another trap I looked around for help Preeble and Wooster were
standing off to the side appearing smug as if they knew the answers but weren’t about to share Loyola was gone I spotted her back at the front desk helping a daycare group sign out picture books Sulfur dioxide Creelman declared but he didn’t pound the table Instead he stood with his arms crossed giving us plenty of time for this fact to sink in I wondered if my mom should make the call about cemetery duty after all And where does sulfur dioxide come from Creelman demanded He was relentless Desperately I looked over to Loyola who had finished checking out the books I caught her eye but then she quickly busied herself by sharpening pencils She was not coming back any time soon Traitor The periodic table Pascal guessed The periodic table I was tempted to inch my chair closer to Merrilee so that Pascal had plenty of room to dig his own grave Good grief Burning coal power Creelman replied his eyes widening Even though we knew it was coming all three of us jumped when he pounded the table yet again Sulfur dioxide is the enemy of gravestones
