Are you serious His stomach jumped He knew she was because Mildred rarely sugarcoated the truth life-altering as it might be You could have warned me She stopped at a red light and glanced over at Jack ignoring his comments You won’t be spending another night in the group home I know that will make you happy Mildred said patting his knee Jack shrugged He didn’t mind the group home that much He thought of it like the pound just for kids Everyone wanted the puppies and he was an old dog I packed all your stuff for you Mildred twisted up her mouth in disapproval of Jack’s hobby We’re going to your new home right away She paused picked up her cigarette took a drag and exhaled slowly I know it took a while to find you a place this time but this one will be different I promise She nodded confidently Yeah I guess Jack tried to smile As tough as Mildred was he knew she went easy on him and he was grateful I’ll give this foster home six months Jack said reaching for the pack of cigarettes that poked out of Mildred’s purse She slapped his hand and stuffed the pack deep into the chasm of her handbag I thought I told you never to go inside a lady’s purse They were hanging out the side Jack grinned On the first day they met Mildred warned him that she had an alligator in her purse and if he ever went inside it would take his arm off He believed her Six months You’re optimistic I’ll go with four Mildred said playing along
Four months is good I meant four weeks Mildred’s laugh was gravelly and a long stream of ash fell from the tip of her cigarette and scattered across the burgundy seat She and Jack had been together for five years now Five years of strange homes strange people and their strange ways He sighed trying to relax He could only imagine what kind of place he was about to walk into Mildred eased the Buick up to the curb in front of the latest foster home and boy was it a doozy It’s the Victorian one right up there she said She’d scraped the tires against the curb and Jack rolled his eyes because she always did that Before getting out of the car Mildred flicked her cigarette butt through the open window leaned her head back and exhaled a lungful of gray smoke Ready baby she said Jack pulled his duffel bag out of the trunk and slammed it closed Do you have your book Mildred asked the way she always did Jack’s book had been given to him by his first foster parents an old priest and his lilac-smelling wife many years ago It was a good-bye gift In Jack’s opinion reading was pointless unless it was for school and then it was simply pointless with consequences if he didn’t do it But this book was different The man on the front cover had on old-fashioned bathing trunks and his muscles bulged like a wrestler’s He was wrapped in chains with thick padlocks dangling from his arms and legs The chains forced him to bend over from the weight as if an invisible ceiling pressed down on him and he couldn’t straighten up The book was about magic Not real magic though but trick-of-the-eye magic The man in chains was not a prisoner or a slave but a magician And his name was Harry Houdini Yes I’ve got my book Jack said the way he always did
They walked the long steep path up to the house which loomed atop the scraggly lawn The path was made of slabs of broken slate positioned like stepping-stones across a weedy ocean of grass up to the front door The house resembled a witch’s dollhouse with elaborately carved trim that looked good enough to eat but would surely kill him with one bite Tall pointy spires pierced the still blue sky The house could use a good paint job but it had a lot of windows with tall shutters and a porch surrounded by spindly columns This house is right out of Nathaniel Hawthorne Mildred said craning her neck and shading her eyes against the sun as she squinted up at it Who’s that A famous American author remember that The man who lives here is a professor This could be your big chance of having a real mentor Someone to look up to Mildred squeezed his shoulder Need I remind you you’re running out of chances This could be your last one We got lucky The professor asked for a boy who liked magic and I knew you would be perfect OK so what did this Hawthorne guy write Jack sighed bracing for the inevitable lesson on famously boring writers he couldn’t care less about The Scarlet Letter What’s it about Lust adultery and impure thoughts and poor Hester Prynne had to wear a scarlet letter pinned to her bosom Mildred clutched at the front of her knit cardigan Bosoms Jack wrenched his neck jerking his head toward
Mildred and burst out laughing This was your first choice of places to leave me a house that reminded you of bosoms I’m not leaving you She grasped his sleeve Her eyelashes fluttered her watery blue eyes brimming with tears Jack had made a critical error Mildred was a crier He squeezed her hand in his her skin a soft bruised peach Don’t cry Millie She loved it when he called her Millie Last time she cried half her makeup ran down her face and it was not pretty He had had no idea that women put a skin colored layer of makeup over their faces Jack was learning that women were highly layered and it was not a good idea to get them wet Mildred dabbed at her eyes with a wad of crumpled-up tissue Don’t say spit young man And when we get inside don’t say booger loogie or fart And don’t talk about any other bodily functions in front of your new foster father Please try Please try to let him like you Jack stared into Mildred’s eyes as she inspected his face for any microscopic filth that might still be visible Mildred we all fart Not necessarily I was married for thirty-five years and never once expelled gas in front of my husband Mildred held Just give me a ring if he turns out to be a murderer and I’ll be back in a flash Mildred tried to pat down his light brown hair it was a little too long all over but it didn’t go all the way to his collar She licked her thumbs and pressed on his temples Jack swatted her hands away Millie stop Why don’t you just spit on me
