The woman was elegantly dressed a floaty scarf at her throat but when she yawned she didn’t bother covering her mouth The mayor’s friends went back inside Mayor Bullock clapped his hands then danced sideways down the steps splaying his arms as though in a Las Vegas show He sauntered jauntily towards his car Will moved to scarper but Pollo clamped a hand on his leg Don’t move If we run we’ll look guilty We are guilty said Will Mayor Bullock doesn’t know that Hold your nerve Trust me Will thought of the scrapes that trusting Pollo had got him into But the mayor was approaching it was too late to run now He shoved the pen under his thigh and tried to think non-guilty thoughts Pancakes peanuts prison No Start again Mayor Bullock was closing in The spitball-dappled vehicle beeped twice and amber lights flashed as from ten paces away he unlocked it Whatever you do don’t look at the spitballs Pollo hissed Mayor Bullock spotted Will and Pollo and saluted He was as cheery as Pollo had ever seen him Hail young citizens of Riddle Gully he called 11
What brings you onto the streets Not up to any shenanigans I hope He fished a humbug lolly from his pocket tossed it in the air and caught it in his mouth like a hungry carp He peered at them expectantly sliding the sweet from cheek to cheek Pollo pointed to their buckets on the footpath We’ve been washing windows What about you Your Worshipfulness You don’t have any news do you Something to do with those people you were with just now maybe My column’s starting up again soon and you’re always so so newsworthy Newsworthiness is both a privilege and a burden of leadership sighed Mayor Bullock He nodded towards the edge of town I trust you’ll be reporting on the Diamond Jack Experience Tourist Centre the establishment named for my noteworthy ancestor It’s coming along nicely I must say without me this region’s bushranger heritage would dwindle and die Tis I who keeps the flame of history burning bright And lines his pockets along the way thought Pollo Those people at the Federal Hotel she persisted they looked like the sort of Pollo chose her words carefully influential types who make things happen like you Will shifted on the wall uneasily trying to keep his 12
eyes from flicking to the polka-dotted car panels the mayor couldn’t see Mayor Bullock leaned on the roof of his vehicle Will prayed the mayor’s gaze would stop at the edge They make things happen alright chuckled the mayor You don’t know the half of it Miss di Nozi What do you mean said Pollo picking up what remained of her notepad That sounds a bit suspicious to me Will expanded his prayer to include his sudden disappearance Mayor Bullock pursed his lips Let’s just say that great riches lie in what history overlooks You can write that down young lady He popped another humbug into his mouth and slurped I might make it my family motto The mayor suddenly turned his gaze to Will You’re Sergeant Butt’s boy am I correct I’m his stepson said Will Quite said the mayor Well Sergeant Butt’s stepson do me a favour and exterminate those wretched snails there beside you He nodded at the wall They’ll be eating my cherry tomatoes by the end of the day Will looked down Two spitballs were sitting on the wall in full view A small white snail had ventured from 13
the garden behind and was sallying forth towards them Those snails remind me the mayor went on of the spitballs I whipped up as a youngster Good old-fashioned fun they were a pastime for which the youth of today lacks the imagination your brains all fried by computer games as they are He chuckled My spitball victims always squealed especially at the old people’s home but there was no harm done As Will gathered up the snail and spitballs between his palms Mayor Bullock winked at him Females don’t have the stomach for spitballs lad but you really ought to have a go some day He tapped the side of his nose Don’t tell your stepfather who put you up to it mind Will opened his mouth but no words came Mayor Bullock’s smile slipped from his face his goodwill exhausted from extravagant use He opened his car door Pray continue to languish in the sunshine while the glow of youth still alights upon you You’ll have arthritis and debts up to your neck soon enough He slid into the driver’s seat revved the engine and rumbled off down the street 14
