Hey Sticks he yells like I’m kilometres away instead of just in front of him I hand him the towel Dry yourself before you come in He scrubs his head with the towel making his hair (cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:68)(cid:81)(cid:71)(cid:3)(cid:88)(cid:83)(cid:3)(cid:79)(cid:76)(cid:78)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:76)(cid:87)(cid:182)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:82)(cid:81)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:85)(cid:72)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:55)(cid:75)(cid:72)(cid:81)(cid:3)(cid:75)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:79)(cid:68)(cid:88)(cid:74)(cid:75)(cid:86)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:181)(cid:43)(cid:82)(cid:90)(cid:3)(cid:69)(cid:68)(cid:71)(cid:79)(cid:92)(cid:3)(cid:71)(cid:82)(cid:3) you want me to kick your butt He grabs the PlayStation controls and boots up a game Somehow the PlayStation is fun again I’ve totally massacred Ranga in three different games and he’s dead meat in this one when Mum walks in A frown darkens her face when she sees Ranga He has that effect on adults It takes an effort but she forces a smile Hello Warren she says pleasantly Ranga doesn’t look up He’s concentrating so hard on the game he hasn’t even heard her I kick him Lucky he sees Mum before he says anything Hi Mrs Whyte he beams at her He’s got absolutely no idea that she doesn’t like him In fact he’d be amazed if I told him that most adults don’t like him He’s got no idea at all He can be really aggravating but I know what he’s really like Yesterday he gave his lunch to a little kid who forgot to bring any to school Ranga went hungry I’d already eaten mine so he 9
couldn’t share with me but he didn’t hesitate And he’d do it again tomorrow no worries Mum’s been shopping and she needs a hand to bring everything in Ranga’s out the door before I can stop him Sure enough he tries to carry too much and drops a tin of marmalade on the driveway The rim is dented Mum looks at it for a while I think she’s about to say something but her face changes when she sees the look on Ranga’s face He looks like a puppy expecting to get smacked She shrugs We can always open it at the other end Warren She smiles and I can feel Ranga’s relief radiating around the kitchen She pulls out a tin of Milo and a pack of Milk Arrowroot biscuits Dip and Gunk Excellent While Mum is making the Milo we argue over the (cid:85)(cid:88)(cid:79)(cid:72)(cid:86)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:53)(cid:68)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:68)(cid:182)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:68)(cid:79)(cid:90)(cid:68)(cid:92)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:87)(cid:85)(cid:92)(cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:3)(cid:87)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:74)(cid:88)(cid:85)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:82)(cid:88)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:90)(cid:68)(cid:92)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:87)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:70)(cid:75)(cid:72)(cid:68)(cid:87)(cid:3) but I’m onto him I rule out every suggestion for changes that he makes Then we play scissors paper rock to see (cid:90)(cid:75)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:74)(cid:82)(cid:72)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:85)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:53)(cid:68)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:68)(cid:3)(cid:79)(cid:82)(cid:86)(cid:72)(cid:86)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:43)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:68)(cid:79)(cid:90)(cid:68)(cid:92)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:71)(cid:82)(cid:72)(cid:86)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:44)(cid:3)(cid:70)(cid:68)(cid:81)(cid:3)(cid:85)(cid:72)(cid:68)(cid:71)(cid:3) him like a book (cid:43)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:75)(cid:68)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:87)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:74)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:85)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:15)(cid:3)(cid:90)(cid:75)(cid:76)(cid:79)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:75)(cid:76)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:48)(cid:76)(cid:79)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:76)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:76)(cid:79)(cid:79)(cid:3)(cid:69)(cid:82)(cid:76)(cid:79)(cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:3)(cid:75)(cid:82)(cid:87)(cid:17)(cid:3) He holds the Milk Arrowroot biscuit between his thumb (cid:68)(cid:81)(cid:71)(cid:3) (cid:73)(cid:82)(cid:85)(cid:72)(cid:191)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:72)(cid:85)(cid:15)(cid:3) (cid:79)(cid:82)(cid:82)(cid:86)(cid:72)(cid:79)(cid:92)(cid:15)(cid:3) (cid:79)(cid:72)(cid:87)(cid:87)(cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:3) (cid:76)(cid:87)(cid:3) (cid:86)(cid:90)(cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:3) (cid:68)(cid:3) (cid:79)(cid:76)(cid:87)(cid:87)(cid:79)(cid:72)(cid:3) (cid:82)(cid:89)(cid:72)(cid:85)(cid:3) (cid:75)(cid:76)(cid:86)(cid:3) steaming Milo He’s deadly serious frowning with concentration 10
waiting for me I click the stopwatch Go Ranga plunges his biscuit into the Milo Past halfway I say It is he snaps Quiet The frown grows deeper A wet stain creeps up the biscuit from the Milo Just above the surface of the Milo the biscuit begins to swell Ten seconds I say Ranga’s hand shakes slightly The biscuit wobbles like jelly The secret is not to hold it too tight otherwise it snaps off on the edge of the dry part Fifteen seconds Smoothly Ranga lifts the biscuit out of the Milo and raises it to his mouth It bobbles around like pale-brown gorilla snot Just as he gets it above his face a crack appears where the swollen wet biscuit meets the hard dry part then the wet part drops straight into his mouth He swallows it whole and grins Your turn Fifteen seconds the record for this game It should be easy to beat Ranga clicks the stopwatch I put the biscuit into my Milo so carefully that I don’t stir it at all I’ve put extra sugar into mine so it’s thicker and won’t soak into the biscuit as easily I can’t lose Ranga tries every trick in the book to put me off but I 11
(cid:68)(cid:80)(cid:3)(cid:73)(cid:82)(cid:70)(cid:88)(cid:86)(cid:86)(cid:72)(cid:71)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:36)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:73)(cid:87)(cid:92)(cid:16)(cid:191)(cid:89)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:86)(cid:72)(cid:70)(cid:82)(cid:81)(cid:71)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:44)(cid:3)(cid:82)(cid:83)(cid:72)(cid:81)(cid:3)(cid:80)(cid:92)(cid:3)(cid:80)(cid:82)(cid:88)(cid:87)(cid:75)(cid:17) Sixty says Ranga He’s laughing the mongrel I force away the smile that tries to creep onto my face I lift the biscuit It’s huge bloated with Milo wobbling I swing it up towards my mouth In slow motion the crack appears It widens and then the bottom of the biscuit drops away from my hand I try to get my mouth under it but it brushes past my chin splurts down the front of my shirt and splatters all over the table Ha Ranga’s on his feet pointing at me Gunk he yells Gu-unk I smear the remains into a pile with my hands then I pick up a spoon and scoop some into my mouth I screw up my face pretending it tastes bad swallowing as though each spoonful is a brick Ranga is laughing so hard he’s hugging himself Urgh gross He acts like he’s vomiting so I pretend some of it wants to come back up and I squish a bit of mush out between my teeth Ranga’s eyes are watering What do you think you’re doing Ian Mum’s standing by the edge of the lounge room hands on hips glaring at me I wipe the goo from the corners of my mouth with the back of my hand Dip and Gunk I say 12