Chapter One MY FIRST MEMORY IS OF THE COLD I WAS strapped into my car seat but whatever car I’d arrived in had long since taken off I don’t remember the car or who was in it just the car seat rocking back and forth on the stoop The sky was dark the road empty and the concrete front stoop was cracked and icy I was barely a year old and alone in the world Walt doesn’t know that I can remember that far back But I do remember I remember the scratchy pink blanket and how it hadn’t kept me warm even before I kicked it off and out of reach And I remem ber Walt only I didn’t know his name yet walking up the sidewalk and standing in front of me his breath making puffy white clouds in the air
2 Kita Helmetag Murdock What on earth he asked He looked around but saw that same empty road I’d seen He stared at me for a minute shaking his head Then he picked up a yellow envelope from the stoop and tore it open with his thumb He pulled out a matching yellow sheet of paper and his face crumpled as he read it He sank down next to me facing the road He held his head in his hands and I could hear him each time he exhaled blowing out the cold night air with force as if to rid it from his body When he finally stood his eyes were red and he stuffed the envelope and paper in the pocket of his navy blue parka with shaky hands He considered me for a while adjusting his baseball cap a few times as if maybe that would solve something Then he took his parka off and placed it over me As soon as his warm hand touched my arm I closed my eyes and saw an image of the future flash before me It was the first time I can remember that happening which is probably why I remember the day on the stoop so well There is a certain clarity to the present on the days when I see the future the days when I have what I’ve come to call a future flash
Future Flash 3 It was a quick image and though it would happen eleven years in the future it was as clear as the stars above me I saw Walt and me sitting at a kitchen ta ble together drinking coffee and hot chocolate and eating muffins I knew right then that I didn’t have to worry about being left out in the cold anymore and I giggled with relief Walt looked down at me and smiled When I didn’t stop he started laughing too Then he brought me into his green wooden house The house I now call home We’ve never talked about that night or how I know that he found me on a stoop and that he’s not really my dad I mention this today because this morning Walt and I are eating some of Carmen’s blueberry muffins and drinking coffee and hot chocolate at the kitchen table and everything down to the stain on the left sleeve of my black hoodie to the crumb of muffin on Walt’s chin looks exactly as it had when I saw it all those years ago That’s how I know something impor tant is going to happen Whenever I experience one of my future flashes it means I’m going to have an interesting day Of course at the moment Walt is making the
